by Matt Prendergast
ALRIGHT! Three weeks in, and I haven't given up this weekly evidentiary procedure proving I have both questionable prognostication skills and an undying need for attention. Hit me with your loving hammer NFL Week 3!
Since it's clear that Roger Goodell is opting to forgo 'getting qualified professionals on the field to maintain order' in lieu of 'fining every effing player the following week because that certainly makes a difference', let's assume that we're going to continue to watch XFL 2012 full-contact footballs. Which you would think would be advantageous for the Raiders, but it looks like they forgot they're the Raiders. Sad, really, it's like time forgot them.
Seriously, Rog. How about cutting off a slice of that sweet Time-Warner Cable money and getting Mike Carey back in charge, you dink? Enough politics, GO!
Thursday Review: The Giants aren't dead, and apparently aren't even broken; The Cam Nortons are. Not sure why everybody else seemed to think that Camshaft wasn't going to get figured out, but it's pretty clear now that he has been. Great sign for the franchise when once again Steve Smith has to be the goddamn voice of common sense. In the interim, the Giants discovered their back-up RB is probably better than Ahmad Bradshaw, and they can plug whoever in at the slots and go. Glad I invested in Hakeem Nicks. Martellus Bennett is pretty alright. Fantasy warning: I would steer clear of all Panthers for the next couple of weeks, period. Running game is horrible, and Cam has now shown his first signs of Vince Youngedness in his sideline sulk, sucks for Smith - maybe Cam responds, but how do you console Superman when it turns out he was just some dude with a blanket around his neck? Also, Greg Olsen was not a sleeper; he was Greg Olsen.
Rams @ Bears - Am highly looking forward to this - on the one hand, the Rams are a couple of plays away from being 2-0. And on the other hand, the Rams are a couple plays away from being 0-2. One thing is definite: The Bears are definitely, soundly, 1 and 1. You know I'm all about the Stache here, right?
Rams Starts: Might want to start rolling Bradford out there, because, you know, he's in the Top 3 performance guys right now. Right after Alex Smith. Absorb that. Also, look at that list - have I been overestimating passer rating this whole time? The top ten has seven guys that were on my 'Do Not Draft' list. Run Amendola in a WR2, especially in a PPR, and I'm good with Gibson in the WR2 slot as well. Screw 'Em: Since Steven Jackson got a groin injury from being abruptly yanked off the field, and Richardson showed up strong, I'm wary of either guy since nothing has been determined, and the Bears can still hamper the run.
Bears Starts: Michael Bush. We're done here. Screw 'Em: Cutler looked beyond 'bad outing', he looked incapable and Ryan Leaflike. And I'm no longer positive the Bears are doing their fanbase justice by continuing to run with an emotionally stunted and immature clown as their offensive leader - honestly, one more ass week, and they should give Jason Campbell a run out there. Yes, I mean that. He's used to passing under constant pressure.
Sleepy-Sleeper: If for some reason Jackson is totally out of this game, I would put Richardson in the RB2 or flex spot without a flinch. Or even a worry.
Jeff Fischer's Playoff-Bound Rams Win by Seven; Chicago Sports Radio Explodes
Bills @ Browns - This is going to feel weird to type, but the Browns are playing more fundamentally sound team football this year. Are my pinkies supposed to have this burning feeling?
Bills Starts: Spiller. And Scott Chandler, while the iron is hot. If you've got Stevie, it's a good week for him with Haden on the suspension list....Screw 'Em: Fitzgerald and all the rest of them.
Browns Starts: Richardson looks like he was a good pick after all - run him like you drafted him high (because I did), and I'd include Greg Little in your WR3/Flex considerations. Screw 'Em: There are no other Browns I would imagine are on any fantasy rosters anywhere. Maybe Old Man Brandon, but you aren't playing him unless you're in a 37 team fantasy league.
Sleepy-Sleeper: Meh. Don't have one. This game has the potential to get unwatchable fast.
I 'Member When I Thunk the Bills Were Good; I Was Young and Dumb. BROWNS WIN BY 3!
Buccaneers @ Dem Cowboys - It only took two weeks for Dallas faithful to start melting down - right on schedule! The Boys looked inefficient against a really good defense, and a pretty good team in Seattle. Settle the eff down, hoss. Buccaneers seem scrappy, but I have a lot of trouble believing they're really more than a .500 team this year.
Buc Starts: Vince J and Doug Martin Screw 'Em: Freeman and Dallas Clark - one's unmistakably average, the other played in the 70s, what a wacky pair!
Roll Them Boys: All name brands are safe to stock on your shelf this week. Screw 'Em: Again this week, accept you wasted your waiver spot on Ogletree. He's only a factor when one of those two top-shelfers go out-of-stock for a couple of weeks.
Sleepy-Sleeper: Tampa Mike has scored in consecutive weeks, not the worst WR3 or flex guy to get out there, since VJ will continue to get the priority coverage. That said, I like the Dallas secondary, and expect low passing stats for the Tamps this week regardless.
Jaguars @ Colts - Jesus H. This is why there's blackout rules. This game used to be good.
Whole Game Starts: MJD. Reggie Wayne. Screw ALL The Rest of 'Em.
Sleepy-Sleeper: Donnie Avery in a flex or WR3 - we aren't at Bye weeks yet, and two week does not 'reliable' make, but....maybe in a pinch. Note: lots of sleeper notes about how Donald Brown is a great play against the Jags' worst run D in the land. Know what changes that 'Worst Run D' rep? Donald Brown.
Colts Win! Colts Win! THIS IS YOUR SUPER BOWL, INDY!
Jarts @ Dolphins - A battle for a share of first place in the AFC East! How did that division become so bottle-of-pills sad so quickly?
Jets Starts: I still don't like any of these guys, really, but do you really think the Dolphins are going to hold them down and make them eat dirt? Run Santonio, for certain, the Fins are next-to-last against the pass. EVEN IF MARK SANCHEZ IS THE PASSER. Screw 'Em: They are, however, 4th against the run, which makes Shonn Greene even a worse play than normal.
Fin Starts: The Jets, however, are not in even the top half against the rushing attacks of the league, and Reggie Bush might just put together two back-to-back career games. Believe in Reggie. He needs the love. Screw 'Em: The New York Football Jets aren't particularly great against the air game either, but that's where Tannehill comes into play. Aside from Fasano in some bizarre two TE league, I wouldn't touch any of the Dolphins receivers this week in fantasy play.
Sleepy-Sleeper: Jeremy Kurley - If Santonio gets jammed up, he looks like the guy Sancho looks for more often than not, and should be good for 60 and a score.
That Said, And This Is Going to Sound Ridiculous, The Dolphins Win This Game on The Ground and Rex Ryan Nearly Has A Stroke In Beautful Florida
49ers @ Vikings - Sometimes, the gods above hand out a 'gimme'.
Niner Starts: Vernon, Frank and ALEX EFFING SMITH. Screw 'Em: All those receivers, since none of them seem to stand out whatsoever - any and all are a dice-roll at best, and you don't need to risk that this early.
Viking Starts: AD, Harvin.....maybe Kyle Rudolph in a squeeze. Screw 'Em: That defense is going to take a brutal pounding, and then still be asked to play three additional quarters.
Sleepy-Sleeper: I know what I said about the San Fran Receiving Corps, but if I've got a flex, I'm running Randy Moss out there this week - and that may be the last time I say that. Knows the team, lots of emotion, and the Niners will look to do the same thing with him against the Vikes they did against the Packers - score with him just to say they did. Bonus points if he removes his pants after the score.
San Francisco by Double-Digits. Probably In the First Half. Catch Up on Some Reading.
Chiefs @ Saints - Wow. This might be the sh*ttiest game of the week. I can't believe I'm saying that about the Chiefs/Saints in week 3. Two colossal disappointments floundering desperately to not have their season end before October. Guh.
Chief Starts: Matt Cassell. The Saints cannot play defense, great week for your Chiefs. Screw 'Em: Your aren't still considering Hillis are you? Because some guy named Shawn Drawn or some such nonsense has edged him out of the back-up spot.
Saints Starts: Drew Brees, Pierre Thomas, Graham, Colston (if he ain't hurt), Lance Moore in a WR2. Because the Chiefs also cannot play defense either. Screw 'Em: Sproles ain't been much this year, and I think this is going to be a run-for-six, bomb, repeat kind of day....would rather have Ingram or Thomas this week.
Sleepy-Sleeper: I already put Lance Moore up there....let's include Jon Baldwin for fun! WR3/Flex only. Saints D is awful, why not?
Awful Saints are Still Way Better Than Awful Chiefs. By Like 17 Points. Book it!
Bengals at Redskins - Hey, can somebody tell me how in the hell Pierre Garcon got hurt again? Because I still haven't figured that out, and you're KILLING ME, PIERRE.
Bengal Starts: While I still love Benjarvus, and you have to play him, don't look for more than RB2 #s at best. Start playing Andew Hawkins in your WR2 spot for the bye weeks, dude is a firecracker jammed in a cat's behind; you're never gonna be sure what's gonna happen, but it's bound to be exciting. (Note: We at ReclinerQB neither suggest nor endorse the insertion of Class C Fireworks into any living creature, in any orifice, so don't do that, stupid). Screw 'Em: Jermaine Gresham is kinda feeling like a washout, isn't he?
Redskins Starts: Until he blows out magnificently, RG3 is a starting fantasy QB, period. And Alfred Morris is the same in the RB category. Screw 'Em: However, until Pierre tapes up his ankle or whatever, it's anyone's guess who's gonna get the looks (outside of Fred Davis), so I can't recommend playing any of the receivers....but I can DEFINITELY say 'it's not gonna be Santana Moss ever again'.
Sleepy-Sleeper: To hell with it, put in Hankerson in your Flex. See what happens.
Lions @ Titans - Let's just say this, so the healing process can begin: The Tennessee Titans are the worst team in professional football. Accept it.
Lions Starts: The usual suspects, plus Kevin Smith since Tenn couldn't stop 'Kevin Smith, director of Clerks and Mallrats' from going a hundy, let alone a trained NFL running back. Screw 'Em: Don't have any, really.
Titans Starts: None of them. Not even Britt, even though I have to start him in three leagues. Screw 'Em: The Tennessee Titans.
Sleepy-Sleeper: Did Javon Ringer rehab his arm back to functioning yet? Because when he does, he should start being their running back. Hell, they should make a run at Steve Slaton. Sorry about your damn Johnson.
Lions By Nine Million Points
Eagles @ Cardinals - Just like expected, a showdown of undefeated powerhouses! Here's the thing (copyright 2008, Kevin Moore), the Arizona Cardinals have been more convincing in their victories the past two weeks. This fact is made even more bizarre by the continued seemingly total absence of a viable offense. Should be a real barn-burner in the desert sun.
Green Bird Starts: Cards have a tougher D than anticipated, so I'd only go ahead and start only the Eagles offensive players that you have on your fantasy roster. Screw Em: Except Maclin, on account of he's not playing this week, making it three of my four drafted WRs in my money league that haven't been certain to play since week one (See: Smith, Steve and Fancy Pierre).
Red Bird Starts: I repeat, I'm not sure how the Cards have won two straight - their running game doesn't exist, and there's still nobody outside of Fitz worth starting. Screw 'Em: Ryan 'Second Coming' Williams, Beanie, Skeletor and Kolb. And anybody else there.
Sleepy-Sleeper: Not so much a sleeper, but I have that gut feeling that Vick is due a big, 'no eff-ups' game, and a convincing victory here would do a lot to solidify what's been a sketchy undefeated start to the year. If you've got Mike, run him this week without a doubt.
The Eagles By Ten Celeks!
Falcons @ Chargers - Another match-up of undefeated behemoths! And this one is my coin-flip of the week, so buyer beware!
Falcon Starts: Receivers, and the QB, but temper your expectations - Chargers have a tight Defense on both sides of the game - less so on the pass, however. Screw 'Em: Mike 'Hard Lemonade' Turner....horrible match-up at the tail-end of a bad week.
Charger Starts: Falcons are about on par with the Bolts in terms of passing defense, but blow against the run. Thankfully, the Chargers still don't have a running back, necessarily. That said, I'd still run Mathews out there, even in limited duty - Rivers, Gates and Floyd are your other winners. Screw 'Em: Eddie Royal (who you don't have) and Robert Meachem (who you might) have only proven that stashing Vincent Brown on your bench for the second half of the season might be a terrific idea.
Sleepy-Sleeper: Even with Gates back, purportedly, I like the Chargers continuing to use Dante Rosario in the clutch going forward. He will never - repeat, NEVER - have another game like last week. But he certainly can have a few 45 and a scores over the year, especially with Phil needing reliable guys for a few weeks.
The Chargers Continue Their Remarkable First Month Charge To Second-Half Letdown!
Texans @ Broncos - Let it be said that Peyton Manning has never had as bad of a half as he did last week. And the Broncos were still in the game. However, the Texans are purt near better than the Falcons.
Texan Starts: Foster and Andre. Maybe Owen Daniels in a tight race. Screw 'Em: Matt Schaub has been less than spectacular this year, see no reason for that to change this week - and I don't think Ben Tate repeatedly puts up RB1 numbers from the back-up slot - not against a decent defense like the Broncos.
Bronco Starts: Manning, Demaryius and....Willis McGahee. Texans are certainly tough against runners, but McGahee just seems to keep getting his week in and out - the Bronco offense keeps a balance, and that helps. Screw 'Em: Eric Decker has been of the disappoint to date. May change as the season develops. Won't change against the Texans.
Sleepy-Sleeper: Joel Dreesen. Against the team that chose to let him walk away, and arguably the more effective TE anyway, I'd run him out there this week above many of the name-brand guys - don't get stupid, there's a line of demarcation there, but you should be smart enough to know where that is.
Manning Don't Go Out Like That Two Weeks In A Row: Broncos Kick Houston In Their Holsters
Steelers @ Raiders - The Raiders should send the Titans money for keeping them out of the very bottom of the Sh*tcan. You dudes just got your ass mailed home by the Miami Dolphins. How's that Palmer trade looking?
Steeler Starts: If you got Dwyer, here's your last chance to use him, and you should. Both the receivers and Shreklisberger are safe and recommended fantasy starts. Screw 'Em: Heath Miller can't keep being a productive fantasy Tight End. It defies the will of God.
Raider Starts: I guess you can't sit McFadden if you've got him, but good god. Screw 'Em: Note this was said here first; the Terrelle Pryor Era is nigh. Sit all those Raiders until further notice.
Steelers By A Ton, And Don't Be Surprised If Ben-ben is Out Clubbing/Running From The Law With Seabass by Quarter 3
Patriots @ Ravens - Now this! This is a Sunday Night Game! The 'Back-To-Terra-Firma' Flacco versus the 'Human-After-All' Brady duel; Rice v. Ridley (eh, sorta); GRONK V. PITTA!!!
Patriot Starts: Against the Ravens D? Well, run them all out there. It's not that good so far. You were playing Tom-tom and Gronk and Welker anyway - but you play your Ridley, the Ravens haven't been real sharp against the run. Screw 'Em: I'll keep saying it: Brandon Lloyd was a wasted draft pick for you. And don't be insane and run Kellen Winslow out there - he'd have been on the team before if they had a real plan for him.
Ravens Starts: Did you realize that both the Pats and the Packers - last year's worst-evar defenses are both Top 5 this year? And then did you remember that it's week 3? Good. You have basic logic skills. You don't sit Ray, I don't think you sit Flacco outside of a clear better option, and Boldin, Pitta and even Torrey Smith are all starts this week, as it's going to be high points to win this gunfight. Screw 'Em: But I'd sit the Defense. Wow. Never thought I'd type that.
Sleepy-Sleeper: There aren't any here - if I've got guys from either squad on my roster, I'm playing them. Even if it somehow ends up a defensive battle, it's well worth the risk.
Ravens Eek It Out; Pats Begin Search For Answers, Probably Involves Cutting Winslow Again
Packers @ Seahawks - And, a terrific Monday night game as well - how did ESPN land that? Somebody at the schedulemaker's office must have assumed Tavaris Jackson would still be starting for Seattle at this point, and that Marshawn would be imprisoned by his own demons. As luck would have it, no such thing!
Packer Starts: Rodge, Jordy and Jennings (assuming he plays). And the Defense. Screw 'Em: Cedric - it's just a horrifying match-up - even in a flex I don't like his chances for not making you cry-sad.
Seahawk Starts: Beast-Man, the Defense, I suppose. Sidney Rice. That's probably it - you've got better options everywhere else. Screw 'Em: All those other receivers that can't separate from each other. Do they still use a Tight End?
Sleepy-Sleeper: I know you've given up on him; that's why it's the perfect time for Jermichael Finley to strike with two scores - he's at his best when you've finally benched him. So trick-er-oo him back into your line-up for one week only (for now).
The Packers Continue To Erase The Memory of That Abysmal Week One, Whilst Russell Wilson Continues To Try To Keep His Head Connected To His Shoulders As He First Meets Hunter Clay Matthews. Packers By 14.
That's it for this week - good luck and god speed. LET'S MAKE SOME CHILI DOGS!
JOIN ME TOMORROW ON THE RECLINER QB MAIN PAGE FOR WEEK THREE REDZONE LIVE-BLOGGING! It's fun and delicious!
Did you learn real good? Great! Now go follow @AmazingMattyP on the Twitter. NOW.
Since it's clear that Roger Goodell is opting to forgo 'getting qualified professionals on the field to maintain order' in lieu of 'fining every effing player the following week because that certainly makes a difference', let's assume that we're going to continue to watch XFL 2012 full-contact footballs. Which you would think would be advantageous for the Raiders, but it looks like they forgot they're the Raiders. Sad, really, it's like time forgot them.
Seriously, Rog. How about cutting off a slice of that sweet Time-Warner Cable money and getting Mike Carey back in charge, you dink? Enough politics, GO!
Thursday Review: The Giants aren't dead, and apparently aren't even broken; The Cam Nortons are. Not sure why everybody else seemed to think that Camshaft wasn't going to get figured out, but it's pretty clear now that he has been. Great sign for the franchise when once again Steve Smith has to be the goddamn voice of common sense. In the interim, the Giants discovered their back-up RB is probably better than Ahmad Bradshaw, and they can plug whoever in at the slots and go. Glad I invested in Hakeem Nicks. Martellus Bennett is pretty alright. Fantasy warning: I would steer clear of all Panthers for the next couple of weeks, period. Running game is horrible, and Cam has now shown his first signs of Vince Youngedness in his sideline sulk, sucks for Smith - maybe Cam responds, but how do you console Superman when it turns out he was just some dude with a blanket around his neck? Also, Greg Olsen was not a sleeper; he was Greg Olsen.
Rams @ Bears - Am highly looking forward to this - on the one hand, the Rams are a couple of plays away from being 2-0. And on the other hand, the Rams are a couple plays away from being 0-2. One thing is definite: The Bears are definitely, soundly, 1 and 1. You know I'm all about the Stache here, right?
Rams Starts: Might want to start rolling Bradford out there, because, you know, he's in the Top 3 performance guys right now. Right after Alex Smith. Absorb that. Also, look at that list - have I been overestimating passer rating this whole time? The top ten has seven guys that were on my 'Do Not Draft' list. Run Amendola in a WR2, especially in a PPR, and I'm good with Gibson in the WR2 slot as well. Screw 'Em: Since Steven Jackson got a groin injury from being abruptly yanked off the field, and Richardson showed up strong, I'm wary of either guy since nothing has been determined, and the Bears can still hamper the run.
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| I didn't make this. Don't know who did. Is great. |
Sleepy-Sleeper: If for some reason Jackson is totally out of this game, I would put Richardson in the RB2 or flex spot without a flinch. Or even a worry.
Jeff Fischer's Playoff-Bound Rams Win by Seven; Chicago Sports Radio Explodes
Bills @ Browns - This is going to feel weird to type, but the Browns are playing more fundamentally sound team football this year. Are my pinkies supposed to have this burning feeling?
Bills Starts: Spiller. And Scott Chandler, while the iron is hot. If you've got Stevie, it's a good week for him with Haden on the suspension list....Screw 'Em: Fitzgerald and all the rest of them.
Browns Starts: Richardson looks like he was a good pick after all - run him like you drafted him high (because I did), and I'd include Greg Little in your WR3/Flex considerations. Screw 'Em: There are no other Browns I would imagine are on any fantasy rosters anywhere. Maybe Old Man Brandon, but you aren't playing him unless you're in a 37 team fantasy league.
Sleepy-Sleeper: Meh. Don't have one. This game has the potential to get unwatchable fast.
I 'Member When I Thunk the Bills Were Good; I Was Young and Dumb. BROWNS WIN BY 3!
Buccaneers @ Dem Cowboys - It only took two weeks for Dallas faithful to start melting down - right on schedule! The Boys looked inefficient against a really good defense, and a pretty good team in Seattle. Settle the eff down, hoss. Buccaneers seem scrappy, but I have a lot of trouble believing they're really more than a .500 team this year.
Buc Starts: Vince J and Doug Martin Screw 'Em: Freeman and Dallas Clark - one's unmistakably average, the other played in the 70s, what a wacky pair!
Roll Them Boys: All name brands are safe to stock on your shelf this week. Screw 'Em: Again this week, accept you wasted your waiver spot on Ogletree. He's only a factor when one of those two top-shelfers go out-of-stock for a couple of weeks.
Sleepy-Sleeper: Tampa Mike has scored in consecutive weeks, not the worst WR3 or flex guy to get out there, since VJ will continue to get the priority coverage. That said, I like the Dallas secondary, and expect low passing stats for the Tamps this week regardless.
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| You might want to re-list this on Ebay as soon as you order it. |
Whole Game Starts: MJD. Reggie Wayne. Screw ALL The Rest of 'Em.
Sleepy-Sleeper: Donnie Avery in a flex or WR3 - we aren't at Bye weeks yet, and two week does not 'reliable' make, but....maybe in a pinch. Note: lots of sleeper notes about how Donald Brown is a great play against the Jags' worst run D in the land. Know what changes that 'Worst Run D' rep? Donald Brown.
Colts Win! Colts Win! THIS IS YOUR SUPER BOWL, INDY!
Jarts @ Dolphins - A battle for a share of first place in the AFC East! How did that division become so bottle-of-pills sad so quickly?
Jets Starts: I still don't like any of these guys, really, but do you really think the Dolphins are going to hold them down and make them eat dirt? Run Santonio, for certain, the Fins are next-to-last against the pass. EVEN IF MARK SANCHEZ IS THE PASSER. Screw 'Em: They are, however, 4th against the run, which makes Shonn Greene even a worse play than normal.
Fin Starts: The Jets, however, are not in even the top half against the rushing attacks of the league, and Reggie Bush might just put together two back-to-back career games. Believe in Reggie. He needs the love. Screw 'Em: The New York Football Jets aren't particularly great against the air game either, but that's where Tannehill comes into play. Aside from Fasano in some bizarre two TE league, I wouldn't touch any of the Dolphins receivers this week in fantasy play.
Sleepy-Sleeper: Jeremy Kurley - If Santonio gets jammed up, he looks like the guy Sancho looks for more often than not, and should be good for 60 and a score.
That Said, And This Is Going to Sound Ridiculous, The Dolphins Win This Game on The Ground and Rex Ryan Nearly Has A Stroke In Beautful Florida
49ers @ Vikings - Sometimes, the gods above hand out a 'gimme'.
Niner Starts: Vernon, Frank and ALEX EFFING SMITH. Screw 'Em: All those receivers, since none of them seem to stand out whatsoever - any and all are a dice-roll at best, and you don't need to risk that this early.
Viking Starts: AD, Harvin.....maybe Kyle Rudolph in a squeeze. Screw 'Em: That defense is going to take a brutal pounding, and then still be asked to play three additional quarters.
Sleepy-Sleeper: I know what I said about the San Fran Receiving Corps, but if I've got a flex, I'm running Randy Moss out there this week - and that may be the last time I say that. Knows the team, lots of emotion, and the Niners will look to do the same thing with him against the Vikes they did against the Packers - score with him just to say they did. Bonus points if he removes his pants after the score.
San Francisco by Double-Digits. Probably In the First Half. Catch Up on Some Reading.
Chiefs @ Saints - Wow. This might be the sh*ttiest game of the week. I can't believe I'm saying that about the Chiefs/Saints in week 3. Two colossal disappointments floundering desperately to not have their season end before October. Guh.
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| Much less depressing. And cuter, unless Pierre wears a beret. |
Saints Starts: Drew Brees, Pierre Thomas, Graham, Colston (if he ain't hurt), Lance Moore in a WR2. Because the Chiefs also cannot play defense either. Screw 'Em: Sproles ain't been much this year, and I think this is going to be a run-for-six, bomb, repeat kind of day....would rather have Ingram or Thomas this week.
Sleepy-Sleeper: I already put Lance Moore up there....let's include Jon Baldwin for fun! WR3/Flex only. Saints D is awful, why not?
Awful Saints are Still Way Better Than Awful Chiefs. By Like 17 Points. Book it!
Bengals at Redskins - Hey, can somebody tell me how in the hell Pierre Garcon got hurt again? Because I still haven't figured that out, and you're KILLING ME, PIERRE.
Bengal Starts: While I still love Benjarvus, and you have to play him, don't look for more than RB2 #s at best. Start playing Andew Hawkins in your WR2 spot for the bye weeks, dude is a firecracker jammed in a cat's behind; you're never gonna be sure what's gonna happen, but it's bound to be exciting. (Note: We at ReclinerQB neither suggest nor endorse the insertion of Class C Fireworks into any living creature, in any orifice, so don't do that, stupid). Screw 'Em: Jermaine Gresham is kinda feeling like a washout, isn't he?
Redskins Starts: Until he blows out magnificently, RG3 is a starting fantasy QB, period. And Alfred Morris is the same in the RB category. Screw 'Em: However, until Pierre tapes up his ankle or whatever, it's anyone's guess who's gonna get the looks (outside of Fred Davis), so I can't recommend playing any of the receivers....but I can DEFINITELY say 'it's not gonna be Santana Moss ever again'.
Sleepy-Sleeper: To hell with it, put in Hankerson in your Flex. See what happens.
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| Locked-in: 132 on the ground and 2 scores. A PPR must-start |
Lions Starts: The usual suspects, plus Kevin Smith since Tenn couldn't stop 'Kevin Smith, director of Clerks and Mallrats' from going a hundy, let alone a trained NFL running back. Screw 'Em: Don't have any, really.
Titans Starts: None of them. Not even Britt, even though I have to start him in three leagues. Screw 'Em: The Tennessee Titans.
Sleepy-Sleeper: Did Javon Ringer rehab his arm back to functioning yet? Because when he does, he should start being their running back. Hell, they should make a run at Steve Slaton. Sorry about your damn Johnson.
Lions By Nine Million Points
Eagles @ Cardinals - Just like expected, a showdown of undefeated powerhouses! Here's the thing (copyright 2008, Kevin Moore), the Arizona Cardinals have been more convincing in their victories the past two weeks. This fact is made even more bizarre by the continued seemingly total absence of a viable offense. Should be a real barn-burner in the desert sun.
Green Bird Starts: Cards have a tougher D than anticipated, so I'd only go ahead and start only the Eagles offensive players that you have on your fantasy roster. Screw Em: Except Maclin, on account of he's not playing this week, making it three of my four drafted WRs in my money league that haven't been certain to play since week one (See: Smith, Steve and Fancy Pierre).
Red Bird Starts: I repeat, I'm not sure how the Cards have won two straight - their running game doesn't exist, and there's still nobody outside of Fitz worth starting. Screw 'Em: Ryan 'Second Coming' Williams, Beanie, Skeletor and Kolb. And anybody else there.
Sleepy-Sleeper: Not so much a sleeper, but I have that gut feeling that Vick is due a big, 'no eff-ups' game, and a convincing victory here would do a lot to solidify what's been a sketchy undefeated start to the year. If you've got Mike, run him this week without a doubt.
The Eagles By Ten Celeks!
Falcons @ Chargers - Another match-up of undefeated behemoths! And this one is my coin-flip of the week, so buyer beware!
Falcon Starts: Receivers, and the QB, but temper your expectations - Chargers have a tight Defense on both sides of the game - less so on the pass, however. Screw 'Em: Mike 'Hard Lemonade' Turner....horrible match-up at the tail-end of a bad week.
Charger Starts: Falcons are about on par with the Bolts in terms of passing defense, but blow against the run. Thankfully, the Chargers still don't have a running back, necessarily. That said, I'd still run Mathews out there, even in limited duty - Rivers, Gates and Floyd are your other winners. Screw 'Em: Eddie Royal (who you don't have) and Robert Meachem (who you might) have only proven that stashing Vincent Brown on your bench for the second half of the season might be a terrific idea.
Sleepy-Sleeper: Even with Gates back, purportedly, I like the Chargers continuing to use Dante Rosario in the clutch going forward. He will never - repeat, NEVER - have another game like last week. But he certainly can have a few 45 and a scores over the year, especially with Phil needing reliable guys for a few weeks.
The Chargers Continue Their Remarkable First Month Charge To Second-Half Letdown!
Texans @ Broncos - Let it be said that Peyton Manning has never had as bad of a half as he did last week. And the Broncos were still in the game. However, the Texans are purt near better than the Falcons.
Texan Starts: Foster and Andre. Maybe Owen Daniels in a tight race. Screw 'Em: Matt Schaub has been less than spectacular this year, see no reason for that to change this week - and I don't think Ben Tate repeatedly puts up RB1 numbers from the back-up slot - not against a decent defense like the Broncos.
Bronco Starts: Manning, Demaryius and....Willis McGahee. Texans are certainly tough against runners, but McGahee just seems to keep getting his week in and out - the Bronco offense keeps a balance, and that helps. Screw 'Em: Eric Decker has been of the disappoint to date. May change as the season develops. Won't change against the Texans.
Sleepy-Sleeper: Joel Dreesen. Against the team that chose to let him walk away, and arguably the more effective TE anyway, I'd run him out there this week above many of the name-brand guys - don't get stupid, there's a line of demarcation there, but you should be smart enough to know where that is.
Manning Don't Go Out Like That Two Weeks In A Row: Broncos Kick Houston In Their Holsters
Steelers @ Raiders - The Raiders should send the Titans money for keeping them out of the very bottom of the Sh*tcan. You dudes just got your ass mailed home by the Miami Dolphins. How's that Palmer trade looking?
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| 'May or may not increase in value.' |
Raider Starts: I guess you can't sit McFadden if you've got him, but good god. Screw 'Em: Note this was said here first; the Terrelle Pryor Era is nigh. Sit all those Raiders until further notice.
Steelers By A Ton, And Don't Be Surprised If Ben-ben is Out Clubbing/Running From The Law With Seabass by Quarter 3
Patriots @ Ravens - Now this! This is a Sunday Night Game! The 'Back-To-Terra-Firma' Flacco versus the 'Human-After-All' Brady duel; Rice v. Ridley (eh, sorta); GRONK V. PITTA!!!
Patriot Starts: Against the Ravens D? Well, run them all out there. It's not that good so far. You were playing Tom-tom and Gronk and Welker anyway - but you play your Ridley, the Ravens haven't been real sharp against the run. Screw 'Em: I'll keep saying it: Brandon Lloyd was a wasted draft pick for you. And don't be insane and run Kellen Winslow out there - he'd have been on the team before if they had a real plan for him.
Ravens Starts: Did you realize that both the Pats and the Packers - last year's worst-evar defenses are both Top 5 this year? And then did you remember that it's week 3? Good. You have basic logic skills. You don't sit Ray, I don't think you sit Flacco outside of a clear better option, and Boldin, Pitta and even Torrey Smith are all starts this week, as it's going to be high points to win this gunfight. Screw 'Em: But I'd sit the Defense. Wow. Never thought I'd type that.
Sleepy-Sleeper: There aren't any here - if I've got guys from either squad on my roster, I'm playing them. Even if it somehow ends up a defensive battle, it's well worth the risk.
Ravens Eek It Out; Pats Begin Search For Answers, Probably Involves Cutting Winslow Again
Packers @ Seahawks - And, a terrific Monday night game as well - how did ESPN land that? Somebody at the schedulemaker's office must have assumed Tavaris Jackson would still be starting for Seattle at this point, and that Marshawn would be imprisoned by his own demons. As luck would have it, no such thing!
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| Marshawn ought to wear a big fur stole, because that looks fantastic. |
Seahawk Starts: Beast-Man, the Defense, I suppose. Sidney Rice. That's probably it - you've got better options everywhere else. Screw 'Em: All those other receivers that can't separate from each other. Do they still use a Tight End?
Sleepy-Sleeper: I know you've given up on him; that's why it's the perfect time for Jermichael Finley to strike with two scores - he's at his best when you've finally benched him. So trick-er-oo him back into your line-up for one week only (for now).
The Packers Continue To Erase The Memory of That Abysmal Week One, Whilst Russell Wilson Continues To Try To Keep His Head Connected To His Shoulders As He First Meets Hunter Clay Matthews. Packers By 14.
That's it for this week - good luck and god speed. LET'S MAKE SOME CHILI DOGS!
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