It's Draft Week and a Half!

by Matt Prendergast

Alright kids, this is where you finally show all those people that told you 'You're not very smart', 'Most don't repeat the fifth grade - and certainly not four times', and 'Have you ever made a sandwich before? Because normally the bread parts are on the outside'. This, finally, is your time to shine.

Now we've already broken down the rankings for you here - but for your convenience, we'll aggregate those in the next day or so into one nice list. Because god forbid you put any effort in. We've given you the links to the best advice crew you can find in your ears with The Fantasy Football Guys. We've even called your boss and explained you can't possibly be put in charge of pepperoni inventory this week....it's because we care.

Never worry about the guy in the Bengals jersey. Trust me.

Now, it's pretty much up to you - we can't be there at the draft for you, the cost of a flight alone would be ridiculous at your wage! THINK MAN! But for review, here's a couple additional pointers for consideration as you head out into this scary and frigid endeavor all on your own....

Reminders!

1) Make (and bring) your ranking lists. I can't stress this enough - you bought magazines, sure. And you know those were only for early meandering - that said, still DO NOT BRING THEM WITH YOU. Because you will invariably get concerned about the sixth round and crack it open 'just in case' and for-god's-sake-did-you-really-just-take-James-Jones-you-don't-even-have-an-RB2-yet'. The mags should have been burned a month ago. Even if you don't want to go to all the bother of making your own lists, at least go steal somebody elses. THERE'S NINE BILLION OF THEM OUT THERE. And that's the only thing you should be using....

2) Don't get there early. Also, don't get there late. If you get to your draft early, you're exposing yourself to an extra beer, or scotch-and-soda, or gasoline swig - I don't know what you're polluting yourself with, degenerate - and that will invariably kill you somewhere in the fourth round.

3) By similar logic, don't be late, on account of then you're a dick and you deserve Neil Rackers in the first round.

4) By all means, be supportive of your co-managers - especially when one asks you if it's crazy to take a Tight End in the first round. OF COURSE IT ISN'T JUB!

5) Get the ribs. Always get the ribs.

That's all we've got for now, kids, good luck and happy drafting!