NFL Week 6: Start'Em/Screw'Em Games Bonanza!

The 'I've Got An Hour To Crank This Out Edition'

by Matt Prendergast

Howdy do! Welcome back to this cavalcade of questionable recommendations, we're glad you're here! As we've now got a firm five weeks under our belts, two things are clear: a) The Green Bay Packers aren't very good anymore, and b) God hates my fantasy football teams.

Got it? Good! Let's pull it out of the oven and eat it before it cools!

That Happened On Thursday: You wanna know how I know the Steelers aren't as good as we are always assuming? They lost to the Titans. And from this, I now know that I am not to trust these clowns. Except Mike Wallace, him I still run without questioning the decision, but the rest of these dudes are a wavery stomach for the forseeable future. And that said, I still don't like ANY of the Titans going forward....but we'll cover that next week.

This Week In Footballs:

Raiders @ Falcons - You're kidding me, right? 

Raiders Starts: You're playing McFadden if you got him, unless you're in some ridiculous 6 or 8 team league, which means you probably shouldn't even participate in this hobby, and instead dedicate your time to writing NFL Fan Fiction, where your awesomest-ever Tampa Bay Buccaneers team just won their ninth Super Bowl, beating the New England Patriots 114 to 11 after Aaron Rodgers threw a screen pass to 1996 Brett Favre who threw the ball 110 yards to Derrick Brooks who's now an awesome receiver. Raider Screws: Wouldn't touch another Raider. Except Seabass, but you know how I feel about Seabass. 

Falcon Starts: Yes. Falcon Screw: No. Unless you really think Jacquizz Rodgers is a good idea, because he isn't.

YAY! FALCONS GO 6-0! Which will make going one-and-out in the playoffs so much better.

Cowboys @ Baltimore - The common sense choice leans towards putting too much emphasis on 'Cowboy Implosion 2012!', and not enough on the fact that for half of their games so far, they're totally great. Also, I love the Ravens, a lot, but their defense kinda looks like Ray Lewis retired last year, and has given Terrell Suggs a terrific renegotiation tool. 

I found this, it's somebody else's. Go watch the YouTube vid.

'Boys Starts: I'm all in on Tony this week, and Miles, and DeMarco for that matter. Still don't have a lot of trust in Dez Bryant's ability to recognize basic hand functions, but he can't have a terminal case of the Finleys, can he? Also, I start their D. Boys Screw: Yeah, thinking about it, I'm probably skipping on Dez this week.....unless he's a flex.

Ravens Start: Ray Rice and Torrey Smith. Ravens Screw: Joe Flacco, Dennis Pitta and the Defense - Did you realize that Dallas has the top passing defense in the league this year? BECAUSE WE'RE LIVING IN THE MATRIX. You aren't running Anquan out there anymore, so it barely needs a mention, but I don't like any of these dudes this week.

ROMOCOASTER IS BACK ON THE UP! Cowboys win, and somehow do it by finishing a game.

Bengals @ Browns - This is going to sound like I'm lying to you, but I'm not, I swear...this matchup is one of my favorite games every year, because it's always 'don't look around that guy's basement' insane, no matter what....like a Bears/Packers game, all bets are off. It doesn't matter if the Bengals are fighting for third place in the division, or the Browns are fighting for fourth; this is guaranteed tremendous football.

Bengal Starts: Red Rider, Legal Advisors and Insecticon. Bengal Screw: I know the Browns still have a horrible defense, but after two weeks of excitement, Andrew Hawkins has blended back into the scenery, so 'no thanks' to you, tiny little scrapper. 

Brown Starts: Trent is a gimme. Now, here's where it's going to become clear I've taken the wrong prescription: If your regular guy is on the bye, I'm all behind a one-week run of Brandon Wheeden. I know what I just typed, shut your hole. And for that matter, I'm big on riding the lighting and taking a chance on Josh Gordon in a WR3 or Flex position. Browns Screw: Can't trust Greg Little, and I repeat, that Wheeden call is for extreme circumstances only.

Haden's Return Disrupts AJ Enough To Give CLE The Win, and Majority Vote in the House.

This One's For You, Dwain Weddall!

Rams @ Dolphins - Wait, Rams versus Fins is one of the best match-ups of the week? GIVE ME BACK MY MIND! 

Rams Starts: This is gonna sound odd, considering what I'm gonna say four or five sentences from now, but 'nobody'. Not a one Ram shalt I start upon my fantasy roster. Ram Screws: Common logic takes the previous sentence and answers this for you.

Dolphin Starts: Reggie Bush, Hartline in a flex situation. Dolphin Screws: Don't like the defense this week, don't know any of the other receivers....is Davone Bess still there? 

The Sum-Of-Their Parts St. Louis Rams Fall Short and Lose On the Road. 

Colts @ Jets - Wow, five weeks ago I couldn't have conceived of the following words in the order which I am presenting them: The Jets are coming into this game completely outmatched against the surging Indianapolis Colts.

Colt Starts: Andrew Luck has terrific stats, and you should now start thinking about playing him.....Reggie Wayne is a war machine. Colt Sits: As crap as the Jets really are, I still wouldn't put Vick Ballard in there unless your other RB options are 'a dead guy' and 'cargo pants'.

Jets Starts: Nope.

The Colts will MANHANDLE the Jets, Yet Somehow, Someway, Sanchez Will Still Start Next Week

Lions @ Eagles - Two squads which came into the season with high expectations, and yet are both somehow winning games, sorta. This could lead to something super-exciting to watch, or a seven fumble, nine interception affront to the soul of the game itself.

Lion Starts: Staffy, Meggie....and that's where that sentence ends, again. Lion Screws: Not touching that running game, nor that D, nor any of the extra receivers. Same old Lions.

Eagle Starts: Shady's the only lock, but chances are strong with bye weeks that if you've got DeSean or Vick, you're rolling them....however, if you've got anything close, I'd sit Vick until he stops looking like 'Old Mike Vick from Atlanta who can't pass none'. I know Maclin's been under-performing and crutched-up, but I still like him against the Detroit Secondary. Quiz: NAME A MEMBER OF THE DETROIT SECONDARY. There you go.... Eagle Screw: Again, I really don't like Mike Vick if you're not trapped in his web.

'Hey Coach? Um, nobody gave me a helmet yet....'

Chiefs @ Bucs - This shouldn't be televised under human rights laws. One team is totally underperforming, and the other one is the Chiefs.

Game Starts: Jamaal Charles, Dwayne Bowe, Vincent Jackson. Game Screws: Other participants, fans of professional football, Matt Cassell's career.

Um....The Chiefs Win, Cool? I mean, they've got to at some point, why not with Brady Quinn?

Bills @ Cardinals - SuperCardinals D is Average. Bills D is horrifying. Kevin Kolb v. Ryan Fitzpatrick; there was a day not too long ago when I imagined I would only see this showdown in a season preview for the UFL, how fortunate that fate has brought us this magical blessing two years early.

Bill Starts: Uh...you got other guys, right? I guess Steve Johnson. Coin-flip on Spiller and Jackson which has quickly devolved into one of the worst time shares for fantasy since Carolina started paying millions of dollars for guys to distract in the flat to open up lanes for Cam. Bills Screw: I'd prefer you play none of them, if I'm being a caring nurturer, but it's your life.

Card Starts: Fitz, Roberts and Kolb - should be a banner goddamned week for the Cards passing game. Cards Screw: That Will Powell guy, or LaRod, or Alphonso, or whoever isn't running the ball this week for AZ.

Cardinals Radio Landslide Victory! 

Patriots @ Seabirds - Here's the thing: I hate both of these teams, deeply. On the Patriots side, that's a long-lasting thing; for Seattle, well, you know why. So if it's possible for both teams to lose, then I'm all for it.

Pats Starts: I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS. Pats Screws: Six weeks in; six weeks of 'don't play Brandon Lloyd'. I haven't failed you with this yet.....also, don't really like Ridley or Bolden or Vereen or any of their RBs.

Seahawk Start: Marshawn Lynch, duh. Hawk Screw: All the rest....I feel bad for Sidney Rice, he really looked like he was gonna be something before he signed a contract with the Black Hole of Receivers.

Pats Remind Pete Carroll of His Place Via A Sound Beating, Followed By Double B Giving Him An Onfield Noogie.

Giants @ Niners - Flip a coin! This is a big game on both sides, and both squads are gearing up....

Game Starts: Anybody important. Game Screw: Ahmad Bradshaw, who will follow up last week's crazy stats with under forty yards.

Niners Win Because Angry Defense is Angry.

Vikes @ 'Skins - Game of the week? MAYBE. My belief is it's certainly going to be the most entertaining. 

Vikes Starts: All the starters - and that includes Jerome Simpson as a WR2. The Redskins are only worse at the pass than the Buccaneers (holy crap, maybe that Brady Quinn thing isn't a bad idea...)

Skin Starts: RG3, Alfred Morris....and for one final week, Pierre Garcon (don't fail me again, Pierre). Skin Sits: Hate Fred Davis in this, not sure why....the whole receiving corps is getting dangerously close to 'Saints-level', with nobody standing out consistently....yet not as soul-damning as the Seattle corps.

Redskins Win a Close One At Home - On the Final Series.

Packers @ Texans - Game of the week? Doubt it.

Suck it up, it's not 2009 anymore, Number 12.

Packer Starts: You're playing Rodgers if you have him. James Jones is turning out pretty good for a waiver pickup, huh? Packers Screw: Jordy, Finley, Three-Headed, Two-Yard Running Committee, The Defense, if they field one this week.

Texan Starts: One of two things is going to happen: The Packers' run D shows up, leaving Andre Johnson, Owen Daniels and Matt Schaub open for three scores -  or their secondary shows up instead, allowing Arian to rumble for 115 and two sixers. I'd bet on both. Also, their D should be good for 7 sacks. Texan Screw: Don't play Tate. Just don't.

The Homer in Me Wants To Call The Upset; The Realist Wins, and The Packers' Season Is Over. BUT WHAT IF IT ISN'T? WHAT IF IT ISN'T?!? 

Broncos @ Chargers - LOVE THIS MONDAY NIGHT GAME!

Game Starts: EVERYONE INVOLVED IN THE PASSING GAME ON BOTH SIDES. Game Screws: Except Jacob Tamme....and Antonio Gates. Also, eff the running backs. Eff 'em all.

Broncos Win A Big One In a Shootout That MNF Hasn't Seen Since Lynn Dickey.

Buttonhook on three! Now go follow @AmazingMattyP on the Twitter. He's nice person.

In fact, follow all the ReclinerQB crew - they know things, things you can't imagine - 

ReclinerQB, Sonny Prier, JR Sheppard, Corey Doiron, Christie Mac, Marcus Wyche, and Josh.

WEEK 5! NFL Start/Screw 'Em Game Previews

IT'S A TRAP! Edition

by Matt Prendergast

One week back with the normal officiating crews and already we have world peace and an end to pestilence! No? Well at least we eliminated the questionable calls, like didn't happen in the Saints-Packers game. Hey Triplette, thanks for showing why they're pushing for a practice squad for the refs. Dink.

Looking ahead to this week, looks like a lot of mismatches, which I love for the fact that half of these games aren't going to follow the rules of physics, social order, or even the Brown-Little Handbook. Look at the lineup - including the Thursday game, even! Outside of Eagles/Steelers, every one of these seems like a terrific option for your Elimination Pool that guy in Shipping runs. I say to thee: proceed with much foreboding in your heart, young wagerer.

It's way too early for me to be upsies, and thank Gansesha for bye weeks to maintain my sanity - let's get to it!

Thursday Recap: Rams beat Cards - Let it be said: the Rams are going to cause problems for a lot of teams this years, it was just a matter of when they put it together, which was apparently 'this week'. Let it also be said that: Arizona really needs a 'running game', or more precisely a 'running back' with Brokie Wells, Larod Stephens-Figurine AND Ryan 'Ouchies' Williams all in various states of disrepair. That's what's gonna keep you guys out of contention kids....and with Ryan Grant finally off the market and everything! Paging Steve Slaton....you're not dead yet.

Dolphins @ Bengals - Bengals are 3 and 1, 'Fins are rolling in with an inverse equation....but the Dophins have moxy, kid! And also, a pretty decent running game, which the Bengals are not of the 'real good' against. Conversely, The Miami Oceanapes are goddang devastating against the run - perhaps because, based solely on the stats I'm looking at, they are playing with an eight-man defensive line and no secondary - 1st against the run and 30th against the pass? 

Fins' Start: Reggie Bush, obviously...Daniel Thomas maybe, if you're in bye-week sitch, and maybe, just maybe, if you're in like, a 14 team Dynasty league and effing James Starks laid an egg for two years and Jahvid Best's head is stupid-fragile, and Ryan Williams sucks and you picked up goddamned Ryan Grant just to have a freaking warm body up there, I might use Javorskie Lane in a flex. No yards, but has two weeks of goal-line rumbles. Not that I know anybody in the aforementioned situation. Fins' Screw: Brian Hartline. I know, you used your top waiver position to get your shiny toy; now people know. More importantly, in a game where they can run, Miami needs to throw at him roughly 63 less times a game. Expect a let-down for this week...flex at best.

Bengals Start: You know the obvious one, now here's this: Andy Dalton is a must-start this week above a whole lot of guys - except for Rodge, Tom-Tom, Mattefffing Ryan and oddly enough 'Joe Flacco', he's the guy that should be in your captain's chait - and so is Andrew Hawkins at WR3 - hell, WR2 if you need him. And if you're in a bye-week for your TE, Gresham's a good fill-in. Bengal Screw: Benjarvus. He's not 'I'm gonna beat the best running defense' caliber. Sorry.

That 30th-ranked pass D is going to sink lower - Bengals Take It

A brief Google Image Search for 'Butt Nug' teaches us that Bruce Arians is
apparently a dirty hippie. Knowledge is Power!

Packers @ Colts - Was a little nervous here about the Packers looking past this to the Texans, especially after the bizarro last two weeks, but then interim Colts Chief-of-Staff Bruce Arians couldn't shut the f**k up. Did you realize you were talking out loud when you deemed Clay Matthews wasn't even worth whatever the hell a 'butt nug' is?

Packer Starts: I can't justifiably sit any of the key guys on this team - and that's probably the homer in me. Fantasy-wise, Jordy Nelson has been a bust, but it's only a matter of time - and James Jones, now thrust in a starting role, has responded, I like him in a WR2 role...Ced's a push, still, but I've been putting him in the RB2 slot the last couple weeks and the results are decent. Decent. .Packers Screw: I just don't trust Jermichael, and probably never will again - he's a risk/reward player in a position that should be stable on your team.

Colts Starts: It's still Reggie Wayne in a WR2 or 3 slot, and that's it. Colts Screw: There isn't anybody else consistently involved enough to be thinking about - Fleener, Avery, Hilton - average guys (right now) on a very average team.

Packers Trounce the Colts; Andrew Luck May Develop A Nervous Tick

Ravens @ Chiefs - Romeo Crennell makes Todd Haley look like an NFL head coach. Your head just exploded.

Ravens Start:All in. I SAID 'ALL IN'.  Ravens Screw: Except for Boldin, who's mostly become very 'eh' since coming to Baltimore, despite their haplessness, the Chiefs D isn't the problem. And the D is in trouble....

Chief Start: Jamaal Charles, Bowe. Simple. Chief Screw:Though the Ravens blow against the pass like they're trying to earn money for nursing school without asking their a-hole parents, there's no reason to consider Jon Baldwin, or any of those other Chief 'aerial threats'.

Ravens Put Romeo on the Top of the 'Hot Seat' Rankings


Eagles @ Steelers - So you're telling me that the Eagles are 3-1, while the Steelers are 1-2? That doesn't sound right, not at all. Why must you build a castle of lies? Two equally above-par defenses sqauring off in a game that could conceivably end with a total score under two digits. But it won't.

With skins that are real!

Eagle Starts: Is Maclin playing again? Yes? No? Honestly, I don't like any of the Eagles (save for LeSean) this week. Definite Eagle Screw: Vick. One more horrifying performance, and maybe it is time to give Foles a shot.

Steeler Starts: I know what I said up there about a defensive battle, but don't listen to that guy, he's all loaded up on Tato Skins. I'm in on Wallace, Brown and Benny-bobo this week....they've got that 'fresh off the bye and ready to take this crazy world by storm' feel about them, that would have made a terrific situational comedy premise in 1977. Steeler Screw: This really isn't the optimal cooking temperature for Mendy to get himself back out on that field....

The Pittsburgh Steelers Are Going to Make the Eagles Look Like the Pittsburgh Pirates (They're still bad, right? I haven't watched baseball in twenty years, is Willie Stargell still there?)

Browns @ Giants - Hey, you know who else is sporting a 'reputation only' defense this year? The Giants. Oh, and their whole receiving crew is receiving worker's comp. Yeah, I know, 'it's the Browns' - but this year Cleveland's Egg-and-Four is different, they're figuring things out and scrapping.

Giant Starts: Eli Manning, who gets his regardless of his options, and Cruz, but nobody surprising. Giant Screw: Andre Brown is a better fit on this team, and more productive, but still sits behind perennial fantasy disappointment Ahmad Bradshaw....avoid these RBs at all costs if you can, until Coughlin changes his mind and will, which happens with about the same regularity as the appearnace of a Great Comet.

Browns Starts: Trent Richardson is absolutely a lock going forward. The yards will come, in the meantime he's their points and should be their focus. And I'm going with Greg Little in a WR3 or Flex this week. Browns Screw: I don't know any other Browns. I mean, besides the 57 year old quarterback.

REGARDLESS! Trap Week Victim Number One: The Giants, Who Won't Understand How The Browns Did It. Nor Will Any of the Rest of Us.

'Could I interest you in a term-life pol---oh, I'm sorry for
calling you during din---sir, you don't even know my
moth---I've got a---hello? Hello?'

Falcons @ Redskins - I hate the Falcons and I'm not exactly sure why....I mean, Julio and Roddy seem nice enough, and Turner gives it his all, but it's just, I don't know, they're so Mike Smithish, you know what I mean? That fella always reminds me of an insurance salesman who can't close the deal, and spends a lot of time thinking about his three ex-wives, and how his kids hate him, and about how there's just not enough rye whisky in the world tonight. Flip the page, and I LOVE ME SOME SKINS! This year's team has even made me forget Dan Snyder owns them, and that's worth nine Super Bowls!

Falcon Starts: Regrettably, I have to recommend Matt Ryan again this week, and now my fingers feel unclean. Receivers are locked-in, the Redskins are somehow worse than only one other team at stopping the pass game, which will probably factor in to this particular match-up. Oh, and that means Gonzo, too. Falcon Screw: Mike Turner - hey, thanks for the effort last week, but these guys are pretty good against you ground guys, plus we aren't going to call any runs anyway.

Skins Start: RG3 is a weekly go, I shouldn't need to mention that anymore, same for Al Morris who's in the Top Five. Didn't realize that, did you? And I play Garcon if he's in the game no matter what, but he's 'my guy'. Skins Sit: Fred Davis. Hate that match-up.

Nonetheless, Falcons Overlook This One Until Too Late, The Skins Sneak Out With a Unconventional Win, Whilst Atlanta Gets a Reminder of What Vick Was Supposed to Be. TRAP!

Seahawks @ Panthers - Here's another thing I didn't realize, but I guess it makes sense: Marshawn Lynch is the leading rusher in the NFL. Thank god for Roger Goodell's lenient stance towards OWIs, right, kids? Meanwhile, Carolina's combined $77.5 million dollars in extensions for DeAngelo and Stewart have rewarded their faithful with the 22nd most lethal attack in the league, and that's with Cam, since DeAng and Stew are 28th and 48th respectively. Better illustrated: DW is one spot above Ryan Williams and one BELOW Cam. J-Stew has locked in one slot ahead of Mark Ingram, and one below PEYTON FREAKING HILLIS. It's break-out-the-moonshine time, Carolina!

Seahawks Starts: All that said, Lynch is the only Seahawk I'd consider, the rest of that team has the shakiness of a meth addict on day 3 of rehab. Seahawks Screw: Now that we're playing actual games that count and whatnot, Russell Wilson doesn't look all that 'good', for lack of a better term. Matt Flynn will eventually start here, and the sooner the better to establish some pecking order in the current soup-kitchen-spicy receiving pile. And that's the right term, 'pile', because it's not a 'corps'. Somebody give Sidney Rice some help out there, for the love of Pete.

Panther Starts: It's hard to sit Steve Smith - SO DON'T. Panthers aren't all that slick against the pass, it's a great week for Double S....and Brandon LaFell in a WR3/Flex spot ain't the worst call. Panther Screw: Greg Olsen, because Greg Olsen. And those RBs....yuck.

TRAP THREE! Panthers Stick One To the Seahawks, and Cam Newton Jersey Sales Spike In WI.

Bears @ Jags - Sorry this year again, J-ville, but your unbeloved Jaguars are bad again. 'Bad' bad. This is not a trap game, this is a mercy kill. Move that franchise to Los Angeles already, Kahn. The Bears don't win this as much as they accept the terms of the surrender.

Bears Starts: Cutty! And Marshall! And Forte! And The D! And That's It! Bear Screws: Outside of Michael Bush, you can't possibly have another Bear on your roster, can you? I'd sit Bush, as this is the one week this year Cutler will get to put on an air show like a big kid quarterback!

Jag Starts: MJD Jag Offs: The rest.

Bears By 20, Easy. We May Even Get a Jason Campbell Appearance.

Titans @ Vikings - Chris Johnson IS BACK! All the way up to 25th in yards behind Shonn Greene! YAY! You're almost up to 'below-average'! Titans have a better shot at this game with the cagey Hasselbeck at the helm this week, but let's be honest, the Titans' season is already over...the Vikings are legitimately making it hard to catch in the NFC North.

Titans Starts: Pass. No, wait! Jared Cook. I like Jared Cook a LOT this week. Titan Sits: Use your mind, leave CJ1WK there on the bench where you put him, next to Britt and Washington.

Vike Starts: If it's you're bye week, Ponder's your dude, and then the other two usual suspects. Vike Sits: I know I'm all hyped up on Jerome Simpson, but I suppose it's best to wait until he works into things....so please sit him, so he can blow up in the three leagues I'm playing him in a flex because Kenny Britt is 'of the awfulness'.

Vikings Roll To 4-1 and Remain Tied for the Division Lead With Chicago.

Broncos @ Patriots - THE RIVALRY IS RENEWED! Or maybe 'not so much'. Remember a couple of weeks ago how mesmerizing it was that the Pats and Packers defenses turned things around so much? That didn't really last so long up near Boston.

Bronco Starts: Great week for Peyton, as unpredictable as he has been...and that bodes well for Demaryius and Decker in starting slots. In a pinch, I'd use Dreesen as a TE, but temper those expectations. Broncos Screw: Gonna be a bad week for Willis McGahee, which has been surprisingly rare thus far in the season.

Pat Starts: There's only two, can you guess which ones? Three if Hernandez suits up, but that's not happening. Pat Downs: Also a crudlicious week to count on Stevan Ridley to carry your fantasy team. And again, AVOID THE LLOYD.

TRAP 4 - Peyton Triumphant as He Rolls The Pats Like A Hobo Looking For Night Train Nickels.

Bills @ 49ers - Remember how the Vikings just walked all over the Mighty 49ers last week? That's why it's a horrifying week to be a Buffalo Bill. This is going to be 'sneak out of the room without waking anybody - LEAVE YOUR SHOES IF YOU HAVE TO' ugly.

Bills Starts: I would avoid any and all Bills this week, unless you're stuck and have to put Jackson or Spiller in, in which case, we wish you all the best. Bill Screws: The whole team. It's not their fault, they just pulled the 'Ripsaw' card out of the deck, luck of the draw. Especially not Fitz, who reacts to high-pressure games by going color blind.

Niner Starts: Vernon, Frank....Crabtree in a flex, maybe? THE DEFENSE Niner Screws: None of the other receivers really are sticking out....even the Crabtree pick is sort of a goodwill gesture.

49ers by Two Defensive Touchdowns and Then Some

Sonny made this, and it's so terrific, it deserves
to be the first pic to appear in back-to-back posts

Chargers @ Saints - SHOOTOUT! And in the Dome, even....I like the stats potential in this showdown. Feels like it's just about time for that Chargers' meltdown we've been waiting for....

Charger Starts: Eff it, Jackie Battle. He's better than Mathews, even if he doesn't start. Phil, Malcolm and Gates. Charger Screws: Can Vincent Brown hurry up and get back already?

Saints Starts: All the people involved in the passing offense, should be a fantastic fantasy week for the the NO hands guys, and the arm as well. Saint Screw: Mark Ingram, who's blah.

TRAP 5! Saints Begin the Turnaround, and So Too Do the San Diego Chargers.

Texans @ Jets - Please.

Texans Start: Smoke'em if you got 'em! Jets Screwed.

And We Now Return To Your Normally Scheduled ESPN 'Crapball' Night In America Broadcast. The Houston Texans Will Reward Your Years of Patience By Letting You Get A Full Night's Rest.

Buttonhook on three! Now go follow @AmazingMattyP on the Twitter. He's nice person.

In fact, follow all the ReclinerQB crew - they know things, things you can't imagine - 

ReclinerQB, Sonny Prier, JR Sheppard, Corey Doiron, Christie Mac, Marcus Wyche, and Josh.