CALLBACK! 4 Simple Tips for Gaining the Edge at Your Fantasy Draft (Updated for '12)

by Matt Prendergast,


EDITOR'S NOTE: I wrote this piece last year right when I joined ReclinerQB, and thus rushed out a 'draft plan article' basically four days before the regular season. In the interest of not rehashing the same valid points - and because I'm prepping a ton of new content for the next month, here's this piece for those who missed it the last time. (For those that are 'relevancy' obsessed, please substitute '2012' for '2011', and pretend that picture of Rodgers and Matthews is Eli Manning and Jason Pierre-Paul. I've updated a couple areas just a smidge)


Hey again kids! Apologies for the back-to-back fantasy-based pieces right off the bat, but as we are now in the throes of Draft Week , it seems the time sensitivity of this issue is pushing these to the front of the line. I promise to provide a more fair-and-balanced approach to topic distribution going forward, including a treatise I'm working up on why four current NFL franchises should be transferred in-full to the UFL for the foreseeable future. But time is of the essence!

Many of you have perhaps already participated in your big-money-league drafts this past weekend (In 2012, no you haven't, it's not even August! If you actually have, next year please just mail me your league entry fee and I will shred it for you), likely because some owners have some ridiculous 'commitments' to 'spending time with their families' over Labor Day weekend, and then further jinx up the deal by holding 'jobs' during the week. Beyond the obvious need to replace these owners with folks who can get their priorities straight, there's not going to be much here to help you out immediately - instead, file this away for next season, and begin your planning now. As my father often says 'a little pre-planning saves everyone a lot of problems'. When applied to this scenario, he clearly means 'a little pre-planning wins you your league over a lot of suckers'. My father knows what he's talking about.


Now let's assume that you play in a league with a generally solid ownership base - these folks put in their due diligence, pay enough attention to the NFL in the weeks preceeding, and by and large have historically made reasoned and sound choices - well, you, devoted fantasy player, need to get ahead of the curve and grab any advantage you can in securing the ever-critical mental edge. In the end, that's the difference in winning and losing in this world, and you, my friend, are a winner, right?



Please note: these keys to a winning draft are applicable only to live drafts - online leagues are certainly fun, but suffice to say, any money league betwixt one-time-close friends worth its salt is throwing this thing down live and in person. However, if you can figure out a way to apply any of these helpful hints to an online draft, by all means, send me your crazed, stream-of-consciousness ramblings on how exactly you see that happening, and I will promptly forward your manifesto to the most appropriate social services provider.


1) Control The Location First things first, never, and I do mean NEVER, let your draft go down at a league member's home. There's just way too many uncontrollable elements in that setting that can really sour up a solid draft, even if it's held in your own trailer. Be it children running hither-nither, a distracting buffet with an inordinate amount of delicious deviled eggs, the host's wife who keeps glaring at you as she passes through the room on account of what you did to the garden shed at the summer get-together in '08, or your own wife who is also glaring at you for the same reason, there's too much that can break bad in a home environment. Yes, even if it's in the garage (who drafts in a garage anyway? That just feels dangerous).


No, you need to insist, and (this is important) coordinate the effort to secure an off-site locale for your war room. Preferably, find one with a separate room that will provide table service for your hearty group, doesn't pay close attention to local fire ordinances and has a very lax 'pants-wearing-required' policy. Now everybody is on a level plain - no homefield advantage . Except for you; the hero that put this all together, because you care about the league and were concerned that Don could have his nachos AND Deirdre could have a Cobb salad. And if you work it right, that will be remembered by at least one person who will agree to a draft-day deal slanted heavily in your favor that they will spend an entire year regretting.

2) Make Your Entrance Count If professional wrestling has taught us one important lesson as a society, it's that overindulgence of muscle enhancers combined with a grueling work schedule usually leads to early death. As we are not speaking about dynasty leagues, that doesn't really apply here. However, if professional wrestling has taught us TWO important lessons as a society, the second one is: an awesome entrance is a game-changer.

Now the parameters of your entrance are going to be somewhat dictated by your location - Buffalo Wild Wings for instance has a very strict and unreasonably restricting policy regarding indoor pyrotechnics; Chili's however, is a little grey in this area. Again, this is why it's critical you do the legwork on the location. The point is, you need to walk into your draft with no question in any other league member's mind that you are indeed the baddest man walking the planet, in that nearly-empty room, at that moment.


Get creative! If fireworks aren't your style, then how about dry ice? It looks cool, and for added toughness, carry a couple chunks in your bare hands and wave them around frantically. (Editor's Note:  DO NOT PICK UP DRY ICE WITH YOUR BARE HANDS, ARE YOU INSANE? Or if you do, please note that neither AmazingMattyP, nor ReclinerQB.com, are legally responsible for any of your ensuing medical bills, nor the fact that you apparently paid zero attention during your fifth grade science class) Or keep it old school: just enter the room with a thick stack of draft magazines, walk to your place at the table, and immediately tear the entire stack in half like your some sort of crazed man-ape brought forth from a circus in 1947. (Editor's Note: May require some form of muscle tone) 


In summary, the important thing is: You'd better have an awesome theme song, and it better not be 'Don't Fear The Reaper' by Blue Oyster Cult, because that's all mine.


3) Know Your Opponents Much like you wouldn't be foolish enough to jump into the ocean having never learned to swim, so too should it be instinct that dictates you learn as much about the personal lives of every other owner in your league before walking in. Why? Because sometimes you win the battle at the line of scrimmage before the snap count is complete.


It's a tale as old as time, if 'time' is defined as 'whenever Muhammad Ali started getting popular'. While it'll never win the whole battle, the slight-of-hand tactic that is modern psychological warfare is only at it's most deadly when you've done your homework. To attempt such a technique flying blind is a fool's folly. No, you need to know dirt. And then you need to know how to properly grind it in.


An example of a horrifying sad verbal attack: 'Nice AD Toby Gerhardt pick, guess you'll take Bernard Berrian Adrian Peterson next since you love the Viqueens so much, idiot.' This fails on many fronts. One, you've delivered it after a pick, and an obviously good sad one at that. Secondly, it's an obvious attempt to shake somebody up using trite cliche, poor logic and subpar trash-talking skills, and is easily defensible via 'ignoring you'. Thirdly, you're twelve.

A worse example: After the guy in front of you steals away Dwayne Bowe, you retort: 'well, at least I still get to go home to my wife, who used to be yours.' That's just poor sportsmanship.
Much better tactic: It's three picks before your arch nemesis 'Mark' is up in the fourth round (and you do have an arch nemesis named Mark somewhere, even if you are unaware of it) - he drafts right before you, and you both have an absurd crush on Joseph Addai Jonathan Stewart for whatever reason, who is still, rightfully, on the board. Now, because you've done your homework, you also happen to know that Mark's brother 'Devon' just got sent to the can for a 5 to 10 stretch for trying to smuggle an inordinate amount of illegal fireworks over the Canadian border hidden in a truckload of melons. So you, with all the earnest caringness you can muster, lean over to Mark and simply ask 'Hey man, how's Devon been doing? I haven't seen that guy in forever, that dude has the coolest fireworks. You gotta tell him I said 'sup!'' Mark's subsequent weeping will make it impossible for him to pick anyone but the next name he can think of, and it will be Devin Hester Devin Hester,as a misconstrued tribute to his fallen hero. Now you're living in Addaiville Stewarttown!, baby! All through the efficient execution of subtle and lethal mind attacks.

4) Lead With Your Gold I think there's a lot of grey area in this confusing world, but one thing is clearly set in stone; people make questionable to horrific decisions after a couple of stiff belts. So by all means, get to your draft early and help them along. A couple pre-draft rounds of shots will cost you 20-30 bones up front, but the ROI should be more than adequate.


Sure, you're not going to lure the majority of your responsible owners in, most likely because in their past, they've experienced one year of 'only drafting Raiders because they're totally DUE!' under the direct counsel of Ron Rico -Juris Doctorate, but trust me when I say this: you're going to get two of them to run down the amber-brick road. That's two less guys that will have any idea what's going on by the middle of the third round, and that's two less dudes trying to take what's yours.

True story: implementing a variation on this strategy in 2004, I witnessed another owner attempt to draft Philadelphia wide receiving non-sensation Todd Pinkston in the 8th, 10th and 11th rounds of the same draft, when he was off the board in the 6th. We can get into the question as to why Todd Pinkston was taken in the 6th round, ever, at a later date - the impact point in this illustration is: the entire last half of that draft was about 10 percent more valuable by round that it had any right to be, all thanks to the glory of a guy that liked his relaxation by the dozen. You can make that happen; take charge of your destiny.


Note: Please do not implement this strategy when drafting with minors. That's essentially cheating, and I'm 85% certain it's also illegal (unless you're in Reno, Nevada). Also, why are you playing fantasy football with a bunch of fifteen-year-olds anyway, freak? Unless you are also fifteen, in which case, that's cool.


This is war, kid. Play all the cards you've got. I wish you luck, come home safe.
FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER: @amazingmattyp. Or check your local police beat.

Keep One Eye Open: For James Jones *

by Matt Prendergast

 Keep One Eye Open is a series of quick notes on players that ReclinerQB.com is pointing out that maybe, just maybe, you should put in your 'Players To Watch' queue, wherever your league may be hosted. These aren't guys that we're saying you should draft come fantasy league time; in fact, you probably shouldn't. These are guys to keep in your holster with a watchful eye, because there's some potential that you might want to take a roll on them at week three, five or seven when your sleeper guys are revealed to be 'the dead weight they've always been'.

Um...wrong James Jones.

Alright, you've likely picked this guy up, or at least tried to, at some point in the last four years. Pros: He's big and physical, and capable of breaking the big play. Cons: Upon occasion, he's had some hand confusion from time to time (and once in awhile, it might be at a critical juncture)....oh yes, I nearly forgot, and he's COMPLETELY BURIED among any of a dozen other receiving options on every play the Green Bay Packers run. Between Jennings, Jordy, Driver, Jermichael, Randall Cobb, any of the running backs - and they've got two' potential franchise futures' sitting in the wings in Tori Gurley and Jarrett Boykin - there's just not enough to go around.  And they need at least one practice squad spot for Dale Moss...

Also the wrong James Jones.
This one played D for the USA.

Look, this is just my opinion, but I really don't think Green Bay management ever expected Donald Driver to go this long (at least not without really losing a few steps, which he really hasn't). I truly believe that back when Jones was drafted, it was his destiny to fill that role - but that role hasn't needed any filling. His early career has reminded me a lot of early Driver - good enough to keep sticking around and showing a flash, but spotty in the consistency department at times, perhaps due to sporadic use, perhaps due to the yips. Perhaps even, in one of the biggest 'slow news week non-stories' to strike this offseason, due to lack of respect.  (Please note: I think that article and other versions of it are merely poorly constructed spins to make it sound like Jones is disgruntled - read the words. He just wants to make an impact in an overcrowded locker room).

Quick Quiz: Name me in three seconds another two-sport receiver who combines a football career with hockey? See that: James Jones doesn't care. The man just wants to score points. It's a passion.

Let's cut to the quick: James Jones has talent and skill to start in this league - and despite a wealth of depth at that position in the last few years throughout the land, that remains true. Among potential fits:

The Denver Broncos - This piece right here already makes any valid points I could ramble on regarding a Jones fit in the Mile High City...there's a valid logic that works in this scenario, though Jones would just be moving into the WR3 position, at least it would be his alone.

HERE HE IS!  YAY!

The Minnesota Vikings - They certainly could use him, whether Percy Harvin settles his diva-ass down or not...the second best receiver on that team is out for four weeks with a well-known 'girlfriend signed for a brick' suspension, and they need the help. Also THIS MOVE WILL NEVER HAPPEN WITHIN THE DIVISION. Screw you, Vikes.

The Cleveland Browns - If JJ were traded to the Browns tomorrow, the legit argument could be made he would already be the most dangerous and proven receiver on that squad. Greg Little hasn't proven anything (yet), and Mohammed Massaquoi is a WR3 at best anywhere else on the planet (LOOK AT THE STATS!). So of course, with the time-tested logic of recent Browns' management, they're completely uninterested. So this means one of three things: a) They are completely uninterested in increasing their depth and talent by a boatload at a critical-to-success skills position; b) They are completely interested and are playing 'hard to get', which is akin to a young lady festooned from head-top to torso with headgear and born with one cyclops eye turning down the class vice-president on an invite to the prom 'to make sure he's really interested'; or c) Mike Holmgren has gotten a tremendously deep-rooted glue-sniffing habit in the past couple years, and Cleveland has the best Public Relations department ever.

The Seattle Seahawks - Yeah, I know, the 'Hawks are overloaded at the position....mostly with guys that haven't shown themselves to be consistent weapons: Golden Tate, Ben Obamanu, Fat-Again Mike Williams....and Sidney Rice more or less disappeared into the mist last year too thanks to injury and the continued presence of Tavaris Jackson standing in the spot where a quarterback is supposed to go. Their most volatile receiving threat for the year was Doug Baldwin with 788 receiving yards and 4 scores. So what I'm saying is: there's not a lot of Hall of Famers named 'Doug' (one, to be precise, versus 12 guys named 'Jim' or 'James'. Mostly 'Jim', but it counts), so there's plenty of room for improvement. To reunite Matt Flynn with James Jones - two guys that have had a lot of practice time together and have shown to have more than a little chemistry - Seattle would be doing themselves a tremendous solid for years to come. To wit: in the two showcase games Flynn's had in his career (2010 versus the Patriots, and 2011 against the Lions), that connection shone through. In the Pats game, Flynn to Jones was good for 5 for 95 and a score, with Jones the leading receiver on both sides of the ball....during last year's shoot-out with the Lions, Jones was second on the Pack with 6 for 89, including the critical 40 yard gain that set up the winning score.

See, sometimes he's got great hands!

Sure there's other possible destinations - The Fins, The Jags, The Titans, etc....but none of those provide the either the clear-cut starting opportunity, veteran arm, or proven history, to warrant a real opportunity down the line for Jones to shine.

File James Jones under: If traded to the right situation above, a late-round flier or week two pick-up.


*If he's not traded from GB, or worse yet, moved to the Jags, never you mind.

Follow Matt @AmazingMattyP on Twitter. Do it now. The people have spoken.


Also be sure to follow the rest of the ReclinerQB crew, Bobby Shores - THE ReclinerQB, Sonny Prier J.R. Sheppard, Corey Doiron, Christie Mac, Marcus Wyche, and Josh.

Keep One Eye Open: On Ronnie Brown

by Matt Prendergast

 Keep One Eye Open is a series of quick notes on players that ReclinerQB.com is pointing out that maybe, just maybe, you should put in your 'Players To Watch' queue, wherever your league may be hosted. These aren't guys that we're saying you should draft come fantasy league time; in fact, you probably shouldn't. These are guys to keep in your holster with a watchful eye, because there's some potential that you might want to take a roll on them at week three, five or seven when your sleeper guys are revealed to be 'the dead weight they've always been'.

You all know Ronnie Brown, right? The man who truly made The Pro Wildcat a workable idea for a couple of years there -  a punishing, multi-faceted runner with great passion for the game and a nose for the end zone! At times unstoppable, there were weeks where RB could put the whole Dolphin team on his back and run to glory. And then usually this would happen:

He's actually carrying these three guys -  good teammate.

Oh, and this down here:

'That's why we stress 'stretching' pre-game, Ronnie!'

But hey, everybody gets a little dinged up sometimes right? What is Ronnie Brown supposed to be, some sort of Iron Man? It hardly seems fair to label a guy as 'injury prone' when it's only a couple of minor - oh, I almost forgot about the broken hand.

In the interest of full disclosure

Okay, so the guy only got through three complete seasons out of his six in Miami. So what? That's two more than Chad Pennington ever gave them, and in the history of Miami Dolphins' quarterbacks, I think it's evident to everyone that Chad Pennington was one of them. And what thanks did Ronnie get? He got the undying appreciation that management gives a rough-and-tumble fighter who keeps getting up off the mat to fight another round: He got replaced by Reggie Bush. That probably hurt the worst.

So last year, Ronnie Brown went to Philadelphia as part of their plan to built a giant Voltron Eagle that could win the Super Bowl in three games or less and defend our planet. That worked out terrific for him, with a career highlight of 'almost being traded to the Detroit Lions for their third or fourth best running back that year, whom the Eagles traded away the year before, and who had a brain tumor. And also, the Iggles had to kick in a draft pick'. A dismal turn of events for our Mr. Brown.

But this year, Ronnie's got two full seasons of good health in a row under his belt, and he's gracefully accepted the position of 'the guy behind Ryan Matthews'. The same Ryan Matthews who also hasn't submitted an entire 16 game season for review in his two years as the Chargers 'gonna-be-workhorse'. Now, I'm all for a healthy season for Matthews - I'm gonna be aiming to draft him whenever possible....but if that fella goes down, I'd be ecstatic to have Ronnie Brown in my back pocket to pick up the yards and scores for a month or so - he's got the talent, and a lot of miles left on the warranty.

So file Ronnie Brown under 'possible late-round handcuff that you can probably just pick up in week 5 if you don't feel like killing that roster spot for a month'.

Which leaves us with only one remaining question; WHY in the effing eff eff, when I Google Image Searched for 'Ronnie Brown Hurt', did I receive this visual present:

Answer: There is no God.

Follow Matt @AmazingMattyP on Twitter. Do it now. The people have spoken.


Also be sure to follow the rest of the ReclinerQB crew, Bobby Shores - THE ReclinerQB, Sonny Prier J.R. Sheppard, Corey Doiron, Christie Mac, Marcus Wyche, and Josh.

Keep One Eye Open: On Jerome Simpson

by Matt Prendergast

Keep One Eye Open is a series of quick notes on players that ReclinerQB.com is pointing out that maybe, just maybe, you should put in your 'Players To Watch' queue, wherever your league may be hosted. These aren't guys that we're saying you should draft come fantasy league time; in fact, you probably shouldn't. These are guys to keep in your holster with a watchful eye, because there's some potential that you might want to take a roll on them at week three, five or seven when your sleeper guys are revealed to be 'the dead weight they've always been'.

Historically, at least for the last six or seven years, you could count on one thing in the NFC North: The Vikings would have some former-gonna-be-elite castaway from the Chicago Bears in their receiving corps. And also, it was never gonna work out for them, at least not in that 'Pro Bowl steal' manner that they were hoping for. Also not usually in that 'viable second option' manner either, but let's not quibble over syntax.

Devin Aromashodu, Bobby Wade, Marcus Robinson, Bernard Berrian...it's a cavalcade of the easily covered. But this year...this year the Vikes management decided to mix things up in the hopper.

Behold Jerome Simpson. Not a former Bear, but a former Bengal. Already we're straying into a new 'high risk/reward' proposition. It's a new era, Minnesota!

Now, last time we visited Jerome Simpson specifically on this site, it was mostly so I could throw up one of my personal favorite GIMP creations, that one over there of J-Simps 'receiving' a gigantor bag o' the kind, which turned out to be good for a penalty of '15 in the yard' and a meaningless $7,500 fine that is sure to show him the error of his ways. Because we are all equal in the eyes of the law, kids, especially if 'we' are professional athletes and/or movie stars!

(Write this down: remember that if you should get in any trouble down the line yourself, good reader, 'my girlfriend signed for it' is an iron-clad defense guaranteed to whittle five years down to two-weeks-and-a-day. HOORAY FOR JUSTICE!)

And yes, the NFL, as is their manner, has followed suit, leaving the Vikings leaning on always-half-busted Percy Harvin flanked by perennial fourth-option Michael Jenkins and aforementioned former Bear Devin Aromashodu. In short, come week four, Christian Ponder is gonna be half-crazy from running triple-reverses and bonking balls off the numbers of guys 17 yards out across the middle, and Percy's gonna need a break from quadruple-coverages.

So let's not quibble on the minor legal troubles - why should we be better than the Vikings? WE ARE NOT! Let's look at the positives.

First, how many wide receivers that barely played their first two-and-a-half years have a song written about them? Yeah, I don't know either. But Jerome certainly does! Behold:

Now, as you're trying to get that out of your head (and good luck with that), let's review the important facts:

1) The Vikings have, honestly, nobody else to legitimately keep JS from taking that WR2 spot over the very moment he returns from his sabbatical.

2) Simpson has hands. And speed. And the ability to use both. And he's been impressing in these way-early field outings thus far. For a team that had their soul crushed repeatedly over the past year, a glimmer of hope can go a long way towards getting seats filled in a stadium.

3) Oh yeah, this guy made one of the greatest plays I've ever seen, ever. Remember?

Well,  maybe he's got more than that is his bag (HA! GET IT!! I crack myself up, Willie..... )

File Jerome Simpson under 'Drop Doug Baldwin/Pick Up Flippy Flipperson' in Week Four.



Follow Matt @AmazingMattyP on Twitter. He can do flips also. They're just much sadder.


Also be sure to follow the rest of the ReclinerQB crew, Bobby Shores - THE ReclinerQB, Sonny Prier J.R. Sheppard, Corey Doiron, Christie Mac, Marcus Wyche, and Josh.

Hardcore Deep Sleepers (Part 1)

By: Sonny Prier

In the world of fantasy football, nailing a sleeper that no one else saw coming is more satisfying than winning. The bench is for fliers, yet every year drafters stuff their pockets with four point wonders like Woodhead, Hardesty and Garcon. If none of your draft picks evoke a "... who?" from the room, you have failed. I'm a big believer in taking big risk for big reward, and buddy, these are the riskiest.

To answer the obvious question: If none of these guys are on anyone's radar, why not wait to pick them up mid-season? Three reasons.

1) The smug sense of satisfaction that comes with being able to say, "I was there first."
2) Everyone knows you're going to cut your #3 WR for whatever rookie catches a touchdown in week 1 anyway. Flippant jackass. [Editor's Note: I did that last year when Randall Cobb exploded the first game, it was a bad move]
3) Shut up.

Julius Pruitt (WR - Miami)

No image available

Julius Pruitt. Ouachita Baptist University, 2009. Undrafted. Signed by Miami in 2010. Here's a wideout that the Dolphins have kept around for two years despite his having less receptions than Curtis Painter.

Pruitt's career stat line is 2 special teams tackles. No one survives in the NFL on that kind of production. Something fishy is going on... Miami must think, nay, know they're grooming a stud. With Marshall out of the picture, their biggest receiving threat is Davone Bess. It's time to UNLEASH THE PRUITT!

I can't find any gameplay footage, so here he is naming Santa's reindeer.

Davone Bess wouldn't have remembered Donner

Greg McElroy (QB - New York Jets)

No image available

Greg McElroy. Alabama, 2011. Drafted by the Jets in round 7. This guy graduated in three years, led a BCS championship team, and was inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame! The Hall of Fame! For college football players! It's a real thing, apparently! McElroy combines the brain of Ryan Fitzpatrick with the talent of not Ryan Fitzpatrick, yet he's 3rd on the depth chart behind tweedle-dee and tweedle-derp. These freeloaders are most famous for things they did on the sidelines. Mark Sanchez for beating JaMarcus Russell in a hot dog eating contest, and Tim Tebow for watching Marion Barber fumble.

Tebow defeating the Dolphins

Sanchez is slowly but steadily improving. Tebow is directly sponsored by Jesus Christ. Unfortunately for them, if New York fans are anything it's impatient and godless. That counts for something in today's NFL. Tebow proved in Denver that a fanbase does have the power to control a roster when the loses pile up. McElroy is already playing this angle masterfully by ripping the asses right off of his teammates... just like a real Jets fan! This team is going to tank, and McElroy will be starting in October.

Micheal Spurlock (WR - San Diego)

No image available

Micheal Spurlock. Mississippi, 2006. Undrafted. Signed by the Chargers in 2012. Vincent Jackson is gone. Malcom Floyd is now The Man in San Diego. Snort.

Philip Rivers is going to make a man out of Spurlock. Why? Because the last 3 quarterbacks he's had were Josh Freeman, Brooks Bollinger and the 2009 version of Alex Smith. That's going to end in disappoint no matter how good you are, son. Now he gets Phil the Stud, no entrenched competition, and a motivated team coming off a disappointing season.

...OK, look, I got nothing.
The truth is I made toast this morning and it came out looking EXACTLY like Micheal Spurlock.

Uncanny

If personal experience has taught me anything, it's that you never ignore toast. My toast says Micheal Spurlock is going to be huge, and the sooner we accept it the better.

Kyle Orton (IHS - Dallas)

No Orton No Peace

Tony Romo is a losing loser who loses. How can you be the leader of America's Team when this is your trademark moment?

His tears never broke the plane either

Kyle Orton on the other hand....

This photo was taken in 1973

Now that's a man the state of Texas can get behind.

I like Romo, and am sure he'll find another team to underachieve for soon, but Jerry didn't bring in a monster like Orton to ride pine.

Did you know...

That "Kyle Orton" spelled backwards is "Banging Your Mother Is My Touchdown Dance"?

Kyle Orton was awarded the 2008 Nobel Prize in Facial Hair?

That Kyle Orton totally could have saved those orphans, but didn't to prove a point to Tim Tebow?

An Orton's audible doesn't echo?



Follow us on Twitter! @ReclinerQB @SonnyPrier

So They Had a Draft? What's That Mean For Yours?

By: Matt Prendergast

Hey kids! Long time no talk....been busy with my macrame sculptures and innovations in the field of 'sitting around', but we're at that time....WELCOME TO THE RELAUNCH OF FANTASY CORNER AT RECLINERQB!

Yes, I know. It's June. And I hear you: 'Why in the good gosh darn would I think about my fantasy football league in June? I have Kobe Beef and British Colombian Salmon on my new Big Green Egg! THESE THINGS ARE GETTING RUINED WHILE I READ THIS! Also, please don't ask why I invested well over twelve-hundred dollars specifically on this get-together with my neighbor who has that kick-ass riding mower. That dude needs to know who's the boss, that's all.'

And that kind of attitude is exactly why you take seventh every freaking year in your re-draft league.

Now. Right now. This is when you begin to plan....and that's why ReclinerQB.com is here today; to lovingly take care of you. So let's get to the point of caressing of your wondering mind in regard to the newly christened 'changers of the game'!  Specifically, how should you be approaching the big-named players that scattered throughout the league in last month's NFL Draft?

THAT WHICH YOU DO NOT EXECUTE:

'I may not even put on my helmet the whole year'

1) DO NOT DRAFT ANDREW LUCK - Certainly deserving of his destined position as 'first pick of the whole entire draft OMG!'. Also certainly not deserving of any of your picks in your fantasy draft. And by that I mean: you'd be much better off using your eighth round pick on Alex Smith, or Blaine Gabbert, or possibly a punter.

Did you see the Colts last year? I'm being serious, did you watch ANY of their games, even for five minutes? That is a HORRIBLE team. In one of those 'maybe if we close our eyes for seven years it'll be all right' definitions of 'horrible'.  Peyton Manning might get my vote for 'All-Time MVP of the NFL Ever' for the fact that he clearly covered a nearly-incomprehensible number of holes on that team. And those holes? This year with even more gaping power.

Oh yes, and to welcome Andrew in? They let everybody even halfway decent go. Except for Reggie Wayne, who passed by the deserved 'I just want to win another ring' exit strategy in lieu of choosing the 'I won't get hit the next two years because this guy won't have time to find me' route. Smart choice. Oh, and Dwight Freeney, who doesn't catch footballs.

Vintage Double D:
Sure hands across the middle for victory.

2) DO NOT DRAFT ANY OF THE ROOKIE WIDE RECEIVERS -  But you're saying 'remember AJ Green last year'? Yes I do. I also remember two other things: a) he was available in 80% of my leagues in week 2, and b) He didn't do one god-freaking thing to help out during the playoff run.  Now granted, I play primarily in Non-PPR leagues, so I may have a grudge against dudes that only score one touchdown the last six weeks, but that's me. (Don't come at me with your Julio Jones nonsense, btw, that was an aberration of a rookie WR season).

Who's the biggest impact from-out-of-nowhere WR this year? Some dude you didn't even think about, that's who. (See: Cruz, Victor) Truth being truth, you should easily pick up ANY of the rookie WRs before week three, so use that draft choice you're thinking about in round eleven on  Donald Driver (the only GB receiver to actively participate in 'catching' during their last playoff game), or Santana Moss (yes, I said that out loud) or even Whatever Bears' Cast-off Ends Up the #3 Wideout on the Vikings (This year it's Jerome Simpson! Wait, he's not a former Bear! Tricky, Vikings....). I still prefer any veteran in a situation where they can maybe shine early to a rook with breakout potential at the start of the season. Because the best rookie receiver will have been either taken way too high, or not taken at all.

THAT WHICH YOU DO EXECUTE:

'I said: Where's. My. GATORADE. AT. REX?'

1) DRAFT RGIII - Okay, I say this with a caveat emptor: where you should take him, you won't get him. The absolutely perfect 'Cam Newton Part II' selection, but because the Redskins have nothing to lose, and everything to gain, he'll be taken in the fifth or sixth round of your draft, and by a guy who's intending on starting him. Let that go.

But on the off-chance that Robert Griffin the Third is still there in the ninth round: just do that thing. And then sit back and be patient, for his time will come, maybe even early and often.

The 'Skins brought a lot of hungry receiving talent in - rather than break the bank on one marquee dude (like Vincent Jackson), they went with a couple of young guys that have shown some flash, but still have big axes to grind in Pierre Garcon and Josh Morgan - with Santana Moss still hanging around to provide the veteran stability, and the critical re-upping of Fred Davis (plus Cooley's still hobbling about), Washington put a lot of little pieces together nicely to help aid RG3 in his quest to make Cam Newton 2011 look like a chump.  Good luck to you.

Has Hillis beat in hat/hair/glasses category already

2) GO AHEAD WITH THAT TRENT RICHARDSON IDEA, AND PLAN ON STARTING HIM - Let's think about this, rationally. The Browns have next to nothing going for them. Still. A QB Battle between  Colt Malt Liquor and Red Wheeden? There's no winners there, not this year. There's losers, though, namely Greg Little and Mohammed Massaquoi (who, let's be honest, has looked like a potentially shiny diamond ring the last two years primarily because you're viewing him inside a giant box brimming over with dung).

But the one thing the Browns can kinda do is block, son. Ask Peyton Hillis or Montario Hardesty - in the last two years, both had flashes of world-conquering magic as Cleveland Freaking Browns. Barring a catastrophic leg injury between now and week one, they've got a headlining act in Richardson - and even if he's somehow healthy this year, Montario isn't going to be cutting in on those carries much.

An additional plus point here: since he is a rookie on the Browns, unless you're playing in a dynasty or die-hards league, he'll be there in the fourth or fifth round. That's solid value for what should be a weekly starting 2nd RB with minimal time-sharing. Just hope to god he doesn't get injured like every other Cleveland RB draft pick in the last six years.

NOTE: This is advice for your 2nd RB only. If you decide to go 'all in' on any Brown BEFORE the fourth round, at the VERY earliest, I wish you a tremendous day at your job taste-testing used gum for 'flavor retentionability'.

So there you have it: Four early rookie questions answered....come early August, when the other league owners are just picking up their Pro Football Weekly preview mags, you'll already be winning the draft.

More soon.....

Follow Matt on Twitter:  @amazingmattyp.  He is filled with jolly things

Don't Forget to Follow ReclinerQB's other contributors on Twitter:  @ReclinerQB, @heartsfootball, @SonnyPrier, @CoreyDoiron, and @mwyche2 . If you don't, Terrell Owens is going to coach your kid's Pop Warner team this year.

Week 10 Let Them Preach

By: Christian Hardy

Week 10 showed us exactly what the NFL is all about: Absolute tomfoolery.

In the early games, arch rivals Saints and Falcons faced off in Georgia with the division lead on the line, and boy was it a good one. It tailed all the way into overtime, which including a scrutinized decision from Falcons' head coach Mike Smith. Then the Cowboys won their second straight game, and this game against the Bills was never close. We saw another division game in the early games, and this one was a great one too. It was the Bengals against the Steelers, and if the Bengals could win this one then they would finish the weekend two games ahead of the division. Who would of thought that the Bengals would be in the discussion to win the division. Then last, and probably least, the Eagles collapsed against John Skelton and the Cardinals.

The late games were an even bigger shock thought. The Seahawks (huh?) defeated the unpredictable Ravens, in the same stadium where they upset the Saints in last year's playoffs. Then, the Bears clobbered the skidding Lions at Soldier Field. Two out of three games unpredictable? That ruined a lot of people's picks this Sunday.

It was a great weekend for football, and now I'm here to wrap it all up. As you can see, I summarized the picks from all of our contributors. Taylor's picks have no score because, well, he gave me no score. The record before the predicted score is the record of that person on this week, including the game that it is under. I decided not to talk about the games that do not matter, because, honestly, it is the same stuff every week with those couple of teams. With all of that said, let's move on to the games.

Oakland Raiders @  San Diego Chargers

1. Michael Bush could start to get more carries, even when Darren McFadden returns. While gurus were voyaging for a sleeper running back name, such as Taiwan Jones, the guy who really shined was the guy right in front of Jones, Michael Bush. Bush, subbing in for Darren McFadden, went completely berserk with 242 total yards and a touchdown. Bush has now averaged over five yards per carry in three straight games, including 5.2 yards per carry in this game on 30 (!) carries. If McFadden is out in the future, then Bush is a must start.

2. Vincent Jackson is the biggest "Whack-A-Mole" in the history of whack-a-moles. One week, the Chargers roll and Jackson puts up 32 fantasy points in a standard league, and the next week he has one catch for 22 years. I don't know what to think of this guy, but in my eye, he isn't even a top 15 wide receiver. Philip Rivers has too many targets that he can throw the ball to, and while that might help some receivers, it is hurting Jackson, and hurting him badly. Next time you get the chance, I would sell high on Vincent Jackson.

3. At this point, if you have a decent backup, it's time to let Philip Rivers ride the pine for your fantasy team. In eight of his nine games this year, Rivers has finished outside of the top ten fantasy quarterbacks. If you think you have a starter in him, then you are dead wrong. He now has just one game over 20 points, three games over 300 yards, and one game with less than two turnovers. He is an absolute turnover machine, and I don't see it getting better in the near future. His upcoming schedule is; at Chicago, who just forced six turnovers against the Lions; then he is against Denver, who has been getting better, and at Jacksonville where he could finally break out. If you are looking for Rivers to be a top 10 quarterback for you, chances are it isn't going to happen. Not this year at least.

(0-1) Christian's Pick: Chargers
(0-1) Gabe's Pick: Chargers
(0-1) Zach's Pick: Chargers
(0-1) Taylor's Pick: Chargers
Final Score: Raiders 24, Chargers 17

New Orleans Saints @ Atlanta Falcons
1. There isn't any Saints' running back that is getting the carries to be in your lineup on a week to week basis.  For Darren Sproles, you have to solely depend that he is going to be involved in the pass game, or he can break a big gain from the flat. In this game, the Falcons had Sproles' number all day. For Mark Ingram, you are depending on a touchdown, and it's not even a sure thing that he is going to be in the backfield in a certain goal line package. Pierre Thomas and Chris Ivory are both just long shots for me; Ivory is still fighting an injury, and Thomas isn't getting the type of workload that is going to produce. For now, I think it is safe to keep all of these guys on your bench, except for the the possibility of Sproles in a flex spot.

2. Harry Douglas!? Seriously? Eight catches and over 100 yards?! I mean, I know that Julio Jones left with an injury, but who would of thought that Douglas would be the one who took over. In truth, and all seriousness, Matt Ryan played a great game. He finished the game with over 350 yards and two touchdowns (one to Gonzalez and one to Snelling), although he did not show up when it mattered most. I wouldn't be surprised if, after a game like that, Douglas gets a little bit more work in this offense.

3. This is one of the best games to watch every time these teams play. The two quarterbacks are some of the best in the game, and they are very fun to watch. Each of the last six games have been decided by 10 points or less, and the last four have been decided by just a field goal, two of which went to overtime. Drew Brees versus Matt Ryan is always going to be great, and I'm looking forward to seeing them face off again in week 16 on Monday Night Football.

(1-1) Christian's Pick: Saints 27, Falcons 24 (OT)
(0-2) Gabe's Pick: Falcons 27, Saints 24
(0-2) Zach's Pick: Falcons 35, Saints 31
(1-1)Taylor's Pick: Saints
Final Score: Saints 26, Falcons 23 (OT)

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Cincinnati Bengals
1. The Steelers are a perfect example of why fantasy football is a major product of luck. Rashard Mendenhall had 16 chances to run the ball in this game. He finished the game with a 2.8 yards per carry average, but luck(ily), Mendy found the end zone twice, and it paid off for fantasy owners. Then, in the passing game, the one passing touchdown goes to Jerricho Cotchery who is the fourth receiver (with Sanders out) on this team. I'm not saying it is unpredictable, I am just saying that at times fantasy football is very lucky and some of the most unlikely things can happen. Maybe that is the fun of things though, because if someone could predict everything, every Sunday, then there would be no fun in the game. That's what makes fantasy football so great; the guess and luck factors and the chance that a winless team can win on any given weekend (unless you are the Colts, of course).

2. Even if he did only have one catch, AJ Green is an every week start (when healthy, obviously). He now has six touchdowns and double digit fantasy points in every game but one. This game he has a stunning touchdown catch in triple coverage. Andy Dalton loves a guy that can go and get the ball, and AJ Green does just that. I sat him this week (in favor of Jeremy Maclin, I know.) in my main league and it could easily cost me the game. Trust me, I will never sit him again, and neither should you.

3. The Steelers are going to continue to increase the amount of snaps that Antonio Brown gets, and it is well deserved. Although he is not a big red zone target, he is going to become a great fantasy play as a wide receiver two on a team that has a very balanced offense. With Emmanuel Sanders now out for a couple weeks, and Hines Ward being benched for Jerricho Cotchery, Brown is going to become the number two wide out for this team with no competition, and with the talent he has, the possibilities are endless. He is going to become the possession receiver that plays opposite of Mike Wallace, and Big Ben is going to throw to him, a lot.

(1-2) Christian's Pick: Bengals 24, Steelers 20
(0-3) Gabe's Pick: Bengals 20, Steelers 17
(1-2) Zach's Pick: Steelers 17, Sengals 13
(1-2) Taylor's Pick: Bengals
Final Score: Steelers 24, Bengals 17

Buffalo Bills @ Dallas Cowboys
1. Tony Romo is at the peak of his game right now, and he is hitting it right at the right time. With DeMarco Murray in the backfield, Romo looks much more comfortable. To go along with the run game, his offensive line is giving him a nice pocket and he isn't getting hit: He has been hit only three times and has been sacked zero times in the last two games. Tony Romo is taking care of the ball and making smart decisions. As long as the defense and DeMarco Murray hold up, they could go a long ways.

2. Laurent Robinson is the Cowboys wide receiver that I would rather have right now. In his last three games these are his numbers: 13 receptions, 208 yards, and four touchdowns, including two against the Bills on Sunday. What about Dez Bryant? Well, while Dez sees tougher coverage, his numbers have not even compared to those of Robinson's. Dez has the same amount of receptions as Robinson (13), but 30 less yards, and only one touchdown in his last three games. Dez Bryant is always going to be a must start, but believe it or not, I think that Robinson is the guy who is going to score more fantasy points, as long as Miles Austin is gone.

(2-2) Christian's Pick: Cowboys 31, Bills 27
(1-3) Gabe's Pick: Cowboys 34, Bills 31
(2-2) Zach's Pick: Cowboys 24, Bills 21
(1-3) Taylor's Pick: Bills
Final Score: Cowboys 44, Bills 7

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Indianapolis Colts
(2-3) Christian's Pick: Colts 20, Jaguars 14
(2-3) Gabe's Pick: Jaguars 13, Colts 10
(3-2) Zach's Pick: Jaguars 14, Colts 10
(2-3) Taylor's Pick: Jaguars
Final Score: Jaguars 17, Colts 3

Denver Broncos @ Kansas City Chiefs
(2-4) Christian's Pick: Chiefs 24, Broncos 21
(3-3) Gabe's Pick: Broncos 24, Chiefs 23
(4-2) Zach's Pick: Broncos 20, Chiefs 14
(2-4) Taylor's Pick: Chiefs
Final Score: Broncos 17, Chiefs 10

Washington Redskins @ Miami Dolphins
(3-4) Christian's Pick: Dolphins 17, Redskins 13
(4-3) Gabe's Pick: Dolphins 21, Redskins 14
(5-2) Zach's Pick: Dolphins 13, Redskins 13
(3-4) Taylor's Pick: Dolphins
Final Score: Dolphins 20, Redskins 9

Arizona Cardinals @ Philadelphia Eagles
1. The Eagles are one of the most over-hyped teams that I remember in the history of sports. That's all I really have to talk about for this game. John Skelton had a great game, but who doesn't against this Eagles' defense? It is terrible. The Eagles are terrible, and nothing is going the right way for them right now. Michael Vick has injured ribs, Jeremy Maclin has a sore shoulder and hamstring, Desean Jackson doesn't have any money, and therefore has an attitude problem, and on the defense, Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie is fighting through ankle injuries. This team is bad, and I don't see it turning around any time soon. Their next two games are against the Giants in the Meadowlands and then against the Giants.


(3-5) Christian's Pick: Eagles 31, Cardinals 13
(4-4) Gabe's Pick: Eagles 31, Cardinals 20
(5-3) Zach's Pick: Eagles 35, Cardinals 17
(4-4) Taylor's Pick: Eagles
Final Score: Cardinals 21, Eagles 17

Houston Texans @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers
1. Right when the Texans were on the brink of their first AFC South championship, everything went terribly wrong. Their quarterback Matt Schaub hurt his Lisfranc joint in his foot, and it will require surgery. The surgery will cause him to miss the remainder of the season. It's a huge blow for the Texans, and might even give the Titans a chance to win this division, who are now at a 5-4 record. I expect Arian Foster and Ben Tate to take a huge load after the bye week, so both of their stocks will rise. I would drop Andre Johnson to the bottom half of number one receivers, but he is still one of the most athletic receivers in the NFL and Matt Leinart should have no problem finding him.

2. Preston Parker proved why is the only receiver worth owning on the Bucs. He scores points. Only seventeen yards in this one, but he found a way to get into the end zone. That's what counts, and that is something that Mike Williams has done only once all year. Parker isn't startable (none of them are), but he is certainly worth a roster spot, unlike Arrelious Benn or Mike Williams.

(4-5) Christian's Pick: Texans 20, Buccaneers 16
(5-4) Gabe's Pick: Texans 27, Buccaneers 17
(6-3) Zach's Pick: Texans 27, Buccaneers 21
(5-4) Taylor's Pick: Texans
Final Score: Texans 27, Buccaneers 9

Tennessee Titans @ Carolina Panthers
(4-6) Christian's Pick: Panthers 27, Titans 13
(5-5) Gabe's Pick: Panthers 24, Titans 21
(6-4) Zach's Pick: Panthers 24, Titans 17
(5-5) Taylor's Pick: Panthers
Final Score: Titans 30, Panthers 3

Baltimore Ravens @ Seattle Seahawks
(4-7) Christian's Pick: Ravens 27, Seahawks 13
(5-6) Gabe's Pick: Ravens 24, Seahawks 10
(6-5) Zach's Pick: Ravens 31, Seahawks 10
(5-6) Taylor's Pick: Ravens
Final Score: Seahawks 22, Ravens 17

Detroit Lions @ Chicago Bears
1. This is probably very apparent, but the Lions are not what they were when the season started. Their defense is crumbling up front, and their safety play is very soft, and we all know how one on one works. Not to mention the offense, which seems to rely on the production of Calvin Johnson. Without Jahvid Best and the run game to rely on, their entire offense, including Matthew Stafford, has fallen apart. Their receivers, other than Megatron, are not made to play 40+ snaps a game, so if a defense can find a way to double cover Calvin Johnson then it is game over. Stafford has become inaccurate, and he is making bogus throws and decisions. I really hope this Lions team can turn it around, I really do; it has been a great story. But if they don't start becoming more disciplined real soon, then it could get ugly, real soon.

2. Brandon Pettigrew? 77 yards in his last three games? Please, feel free to hit that "drop" button.

3. Bennett is definitely the top guy for Jay Cutler as of now (and that could change at any time, hence the "now"). Of the 19 times that Jay Cutler threw the ball on Sunday, nearly a third of them (six) were flying Bennett's way. Of the 123 passing yards that Cutler threw for, nearly two-thirds (81) of them were to Bennett. His nine completions? Six of them to Bennett. Bennett is definitely a great flex play from here on out, or until this stops. The Bears have the third weakest strength of schedule, in terms of fantasy points allowed to wide receivers with only Atlanta and Tampa Bay allowing less than 20 fantasy points to wide receivers. Bennett should definitely be on a roster, and maybe even in your lineup.


(4-8) Christian's Pick: Lions 24, Bears 20
(5-7) Gabe's Pick: Loins 27, Bears 24
(6-6) Zach's Pick: Lions 27, Bears 24
(5-7) Taylor's Pick: Lions
Final Score: Bears 37, Lions 13

New York Giants @ San Francisco 49ers
1. Before we start the actual review of this game, I just wanted to say that both of these teams are very good, there is no doubt about that/ Yeah, the Giants didn't pull out the win, but they are still right on top of the division, and the 49ers have the second best record in the NFL. Does that tell you anything? Both teams have solid defenses, but the edge goes to the 49ers in this one. The offense battle could of been much more interesting had both teams' starting running backs been able to play in this game (and in Frank Gore's case, play the whole game). Look for either of these teams to make a long run into the playoffs if they keep this up.

2. No 49ers wide receiver really stands out to me, and I think you can drop all of them. Michael Crabtree was exciting for a while, but with Braylon Edwards back in these last three games, the only bright spot has been his touchdown in week eight. In the pas two weeks, he has just 72 yards and no touchdown. If Edwards is stealing looks, then you figure he is faring well, right? Wrong. He has just 119 yards in his last three games back from his knee injury. Neither of these guys is worth a roster spot right now, I would rather have someone with more upside.

3. We are more than halfway through the NFL season and the 49ers have still not allowed a rushing touchdown. Let's keep this real simple. If you have a running back that is going up against the 49ers (unless they are elite), then you have to sit them. Stats through nine weeks don't lie. If they don't let up touchdowns then they are not going to let up touchdowns. Simple as that.

(5-8) Christian's Pick: 49ers 20, Giants 17
(6-7) Gabe's Pick: 49ers 20, Giants 17
(7-6) Zach's Pick: 49ers 14, Giants 10
(5-8) Taylor's Pick: Giants
Final Score: 49ers 27, Giants 20

St.Louis Rams @ Cleveland Browns
(6-8) Christian's Pick: Rams 20, Browns 13
(7-7) Gabe's Pick: Rams 24, Browns 17
(7-7) Zach's Pick: Browns 23, Rams 13
(6-8) Taylor's Pick: Rams
Final Score: Rams 13, Browns 12

New England Patriots @ New York Jets
1. Doesn't this game just get better and better every time Rex Ryan opens his mouth? It seems like every time Rex opens his mouth, he loses! This one at home against a Patriots team that has been ailing as of late. It's great to watch this Jets team season after season, and even better when you have Rex Ryan as your head coach!

2. Mark Sanchez can not perform under pressure. It's Sunday Night Football. Huge divisional game..no, not that kind of pressure. I mean, when his pocket collapses he makes bad decisions, sometimes he make the worst decision: To take a sack. Sanchez has shown some great signs of life this year, but that is one thing he needs to get better at, and it is one of the hardest things to teach an NFL quarterback. He has to know when to escape the pocket, when to get rid of the ball, and when to his his receiver. It's a split second decision, and some quarterbacks just don't have that. See: Tebow, Tim for all of your failing at pocket presence needs.

3. Plaxico Burress is now a must start until otherwise notified. He now has four touchdowns in three games, and an average of four receptions in each of those games. He is surely worth a flex spot every week because of the upside, but he is starting to slip into the starting wide receiver category. Keep and eye on Plaxico as he has some real juicy matchups coming up soon.

(6-9) Christian's Pick: Jets 24, Patriots 10
(8-7) Gabe's Pick: Patriots 28, Jets 24
(7-8) Zach's Pick: Jets 24, Patriots 20
(6-9) Taylor's Pick: Jets
Final Score: Patriots 37, Jets 16

Minnesota Vikings @ Green Bay Packers
(7-9) Christian's Pick: Packers 38, Vikings 24
(9-7) Gabe's Pick: Packers 38, Vikings 27
(8-8) Zach's Pick: Packers 41, Vikings 20
(7-9) Taylor's Pick: Packers
Final Score: Packers 45, Vikings 7

Thanks for reading. Tomorrow my week 11 rankings will come out on my website (TheFFAddict.com), with four teams on bye coming into the week. Thursday or Friday will bring my Bank/Tank. Until then, you can check me out on Twitter for all your fantasy news and questions, or you can email me your longer questions.